Okay—- so you’ve been gone from AA for how long—- a few days, weeks, months—maybe two, three or four years.
At what point do you feel a part of the real world. For each person it is unique. Certainly not when I first left. I was super happy to be gone — but, I still felt like I was living in the “in between” . I didn’t’ drink and I was still abstinent. I didn’t care about my “time” and I was embarrassed I had spent those years ” in ” AA—- what ever that means.
It was hard at first because I was so mad I spent those years in AA. And the longer I was gone, the madder I got that I was so brainwashed. I never missed it. Maybe its because I was an Active GSR the last two years that I was there. WOW was that horrid.
AA GSR’s are expected to go to the most =boring monthly meetings for two years. Sundays at 9 am – rain or shine –Mothers DAY — really — yes—- GSR meetings— A Westside District meeting on mothers day, fathers day, Easter, you name it—-they did it.
There were countless Area and District meetings ( One day workshops ) and ridiculous all day weekend events for you to go to and listen to nothing and I mean nothing what so ever happening. But I was there with Kali trying to talk about Safety and our pamphlet. So even though some liked what we were doing and we had support from the Peanut Gallery and a few good AA members—-many began to ice us out and hate us and judges us and not discuss Sexual Harassment in AA. So it was easy to walk away after I tried really hard to fix what I was uncovering.
It was the Murder of Kristine and Saundra Cass in Honolulu , Ha . in August of 2010, that took me out ……
and the way AA in NY and AA in Los Angeles, CA handled the shutting us down in regards to Member safety and sexual predators. I was glad to walk away with my head held high.
After i was gone from AA about 14 months I was at a party and tasted a drink when it dawned on me that I was no longer IN…AA. A freedom I had never known washed over me. It was like the promises read in the stupid Big Book were happening as I sipped a simple cocktail with no desire to get drunk , with no wish to have more.
Further more — that desire never came either. Now some three and a half years later. I’m a light weight. And the times I have enjoyed with NORMAL women and friends having a lovely glass of wine is immeasurable and beat out any GSR meeting I ever went to. Or the countless service commitments I did.
I think AA should be sued for going into grade schools, my grade school, looking for future children members. For Christ sake…even Bill Wilson got to drink into his 40’s ….
Happily gone from AA.
Sad I wasted many years there.
Sad I said stupid stuff to my kids when they were teens.
I still hate how much AA jargon is a part of Americans language, Tv , FIlm and culture.
Ce La Vie’