I need a Break! Im tired! TGIF…and I am no longer in AA!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! opps did I say that?

Yup..I just wrote that. Cause I am so tired….This is what I need.  Then I need some of this… then I might need some of this… and some of this…A nice dinner out with my husband. A glass of wine. Some live music. I love love being gone from AA. Gone from the thinking, Gone from the nonsense. Gone from sitting in those stupid ass meetings.  I hope you all have a nice weekend. Away from your computers, away from AA, away from the blogs and are living your lives and having fun with friends, family and people you love and like. Not having to put up with sitting in rooms with nuts and mentally ill people we do not know etc. romantic dinner cartoonwine glassesspacandlespic

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Life and Death…not taking the ones we love for granted. Spending more time with them now that we left AA.

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Being in Toronto and getting to meet a blogger I met here, and just life has got me thinking. How much time did AA take away from  my time with my children?

Now hold on…there are about 10 years when they, my children were born  1990 and 1994,  were born where I really pulled back from AA and only went once a month to a couples meeting in private homes. Yet I did run to Alanon 1 time a week , for a short time, when my marriage was falling apart. Did AA hurt that first marriage. HELL YES!

I wonder if I knew what I know today how that would have played out differently. I’ll never know.

I know that when a woman like me did so much work on me…that after 4 years sober I should have left AA at age 22. But I did not. I have been thinking about doing EMDR work for my AA trauma. All the nonsense.

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How would my life be different. I would have attended a real University, maybe taken up swing dancing, krav , cooking….I am sure I would have made films sooner….written a book by now, played and sang music around the world…or just have spent more time with them on those nights I went to my woman’s meeting in those last 6 years. …:(

How did AA effect us socially. I think not drinking a drop absolutley effects how you interact  with even moderate imbibers . AS I write this…some of it makes me sad. But on the good side I did experience real normalcy when socializing with other documentary film makers in Canada.whitewinepic

I felt certainly a part of the world, a part of that community and I was really embraced by many who hate AA around the world and they are glad I am making this film.

What are some things that you missed and how do you deal with that now. I plan on taking those swing dance lessons this month. 🙂swing dance pic