Join Filmmaker Monica Richardson. More to come ….
Join Filmmaker Monica Richardson. More to come ….
Hi everyone. Did coffee every look and smell like this at an AA meeting ?
Well its that time of year where I will be paying for my server. …Yes I have my OWN server to keep up with the millions of hits we get each year. So far we have over 4.8 million.
If you want to contribute we thank you . Mahalo plenty.
….Thank you for any contribution.
WHY-??? Who is ordering her to attend AA meetings? A judge in LA —-does Malika Haqq know what other kind of people are attending AA meeting’s. Violent and Sex Offenders … If you are reading this know that they are violating your 1st amendment Rights and you have other options. A pretty woman like this is a sure target for rapist’s and financial scammers in AA. Contact us here. Read full story here….
The 13th Step www.the13thstepfilm.com is for sale on DVD ….NOW. We will be fulfilling all Indiegogo Campaign rewards as well. DVD ‘s are being made this week. Shipping will begin as soon as we receive them. Thank you for all your support. Please share this good news on all your pages, blogs, twitter and with freinds. We will also come to certain cities to do screenings and do Q & A’s.
I really feel sorry for this lady. I bet she has no idea that there are no such things as AA “Sessions” I hope she finds out. There are only AA meetings that are run by no one who is trained and no one will warn her that AA meetings are not safe. That a man there may be a rapist who is getting away with it because of the Anonymity feature.
We are happy to announce that The 13th 13th Step was chosen as a STAFF PICK!
Please join us for another screening in the Los Angeles area. stay tuned…
I originally made this blog to help with Stinkin thinkin coming down. I always wanted to help those who are leaving or those who have left.
But recently when I talked with a woman who is still going to AA, who was raped and is being shamed and not supported realized my blog was so far to the” I hate AA page” that there really is not much place for her here…is there. She found her way to me through my stop 13 step in AA page and blog which I have always kept separate so that this could be a place for those who are still in AA and are harmed. I mean my stop13 step blog.
It gave me pause to think about where the blog is right now. So Im a thinking.
SO– I thought of recovery from recovery blog. Are there any other FACEBOOK Pages or blogs that are for those harmed who are not ready to leave but no longer feel safe there….
How deep does it go. Are you still using AA language. Do you still behave like a stepper? ….Maybe just a little? I guess that would depend how long you were in AA and how deeply involved you were. What does look like? What does that sound like?
“He went out” vs “He had something to drink”.
Sober – Abstinance,
“Are you drinking?”
they say ” Dry Drunk” vs He /she is sober without AA.
“Are you drinking now ? vs I say ” I don’t do that anymore” meaning I don’t answer their question because it’s none of their business. Or I answer it with “Hell yea, Yes I imbibe and I’m healed…I was never broken, I’m fine ! “
As far back as 23 years ago when I went into therapy, I learned that Bill and his Bullshit BB were wrong about a few things. 1) all that stuff about anger was for normal folks? What a shithead he was. I did rage work with a PhD. and boy did that change me. You many think I can get mad now…you should have seen me before. But a good year-or two, with a specialist in childhood abuse and even I felt like a new woman. Lots of rage, lots of sadness.
She said to me , ” you have never mourned your childhood” so I began to cry, 17 years sober and 35 years old back then, I cried like a baby. All that rage just covering up decades of pain. Pain that AA only hardened and did not help one the bit. Friggen loser program. Lets not forget all the self blaming AA forced unto me , compiling more low self esteem and “Oh , ‘m a loser kinda mentality” including , I’m broken.
Yes I started deprogramming when I first found Orange Papers in 2009 , and then I blogged on Stinkin thinkin…but many ears ago, when I was 4 years sober and 22 years old in 1979, i began to question AA at some levels. It was then I began to read as many other books to try and figure out a way for me to feel okay. I knew I had done the 12 steps right and read the book cover to cover and so I deep down knew those books and AA were never going to fix what did need some adjusting….( Notice I didn’t say Fixing)
So i’d like a list of comeback’s you use to their stupid wording. Wording you use when you run into them in the street or tools and techniques you use. Hank Hayes book You’ve Been Lied too. is good for this. Also just really paying attention to what you say and how you talk, if you are trying to deprogram and when you say an AA colloquialism- you stop- and re say it like a normal person would.
People not even in AA are also brainwashed and are using these phrases because AA is so intrenched in our media, TV and films. I usually see them in line at a coffee shop etc, and they love to throw that line out” oh- I’m so addicted to this Starbucks!!! hahaha …its just like crack” one young guy said to me as I put my straw into my ice tea drink. I usually say something like . ” no …your not addicted and no that coffee is not like crack…you just like the coffee, you like Starbucks ”
If you listen to the early shows I did on Blog talk radio/ Safe Recovery you can hear me deprogramming on the radio week by week. I think I am going to do another show about the books that helped me the most. Please share here would you the books that helped you with a link them if you want.
Today my cell phone rang…then hung up. Two minutes later that same # rang again. It hangs up faster then I can answer it. Now Five minutes pass and it calls again. This time I say Hi…hello and a woman says ..”.hi Monica….it s me…so and so…I wrote you an email this morning…you gave me your number.”
So we talk for some 30 minutes. She doesn’t feel okay with writing it herself, but asked me to blog it . She gave me permission and I will keep her privacy.
She got sober at 32. After 14 years she relapses. They tell her to not take her medication for depression. She is not doing well. She is drinking again in that AA way. She calls the Los Angeles, CA Central Office. A man picks up the phone. She talks. Soon a man comes to her home alone. She has been drinking. He has sex with her.
Now I gasp and she is saying “well, its my fault I was drinking”, I say “no its not your fault…He should never have hit on you”. She tells me how she keeps hearing “whats your part in it?” I tell her “Its not your fault.” “That fucking pig” I yell through my iPhone.
“OMG- do you want to sue” I ask her. No she says, I have never told anyone but one other person this all these years.
We talk some more. ? What is his name, what did he look like,” I ask her. I realized I may have know him through my General Service work. “Did he rape you?” I ask. “No” she says with more soft words about how she always blamed herself yet knew that something terribly wrong happened. She could never share it in a meeting either.
Recently, she went to a meeting and left feeling worse then before. She went home , turned on her computer an began to search into google and …poof….she found me. She didn’t feel okay about writing publicly here. She is now 60 years old and ….we emailed this morning and I gave her my number right away.
This stuff has to be exposed . She said she wanted me to post it so maybe it will help someone else. Will it?
ARE YOU out there reading? Maybe you were raped. Maybe you are ready to sue AA’s ass and go to the police or rape center. I will go with you if you need me to. I will protest out side a meeting where a know rapist is preying. This shit needs to be written up in a major newspaper and talked about on TV. How will that happen?