Recently a woman posted on my stop13 step in AA site. She posted the whole story there. I think you need to see as she has a lot of courage. She is a lovely young 40 year old female that I have been speaking with at length, for the past week, as she is trying to make them change. I want you to go easy with her and her story as she was raped only 40 days ago. The day before Thanksgiving in Palm Springs CA> by a 68 year old male about 5’10 inches tall, in great shape with an accent. He is know to ask women and also be on craigslist. He has a boat in th marina and goes back and forth from Santa Monica , the marina and Palm Springs. Please WARN all. She went to the police and he has not been arrested yet.
She also reported that rape & crisis is Cochella valley said rape with the LGBT GAY AA community in Palm Springs is also very very bad. No one going to the police. I will go out there when a trial happens to support her and help any way I can.
Posted a few days ago by Adrianna W.
I for one am looking forward to 2015. I’m not sure where the courage has come from for me to write this letter to you, but I feel it is so very important that I share my story and do my part to “talk about RAPE”, my rape in AA.
The day before Thanksgiving 2014, I was raped, 39 days ago. I have been in AA for close to 10 years and have been clean and sober almost 7 years. My program is my safe haven I am filled with deep gratitude for all that has been freely given to me and I give back as much as I can. My rapist is a man AA in my small community of Palm Springs CA and has 28 (!!) years sober. We call people with lots of time the “elders” and they are the ones we look up to and admire and trust. I am 45 years old. He is 69 years old. (I later found out he injects himself with steroids in he’s arms..yuck!) NOT SOBER
I accepted his “friendly, non romantic invitation to a bicycle ride, the day before thanksgiving. I had only met him briefly at an AA BBQ hosted by my previous sponsor, a woman I trust with my life..or did. I asked her if it was safe to give this man my phone number, as he was interested in helping me with my on-line business. I was told he was fine and safe and has 28 years sober. I gave him my number based on that advice.
After the bike ride (his bikes at his house), we returned to his home where we went inside and has some water and he began making a waffle. He then picked me up off his recliner and began rubbing my shoulders claiming they were tense for the ride. He proceeded to walk behind me, “directing” me into his bedroom. I walked slowly, but I went on my own accord, having no idea he would rape me.
Once in his room he immediately began grabbing at my top, pulling and tearing. I said NO. He said, “Something’s gotta come off” and began pulling at my shorts. I kept my legs closed and he then jumped on top of me and while there began trying to pull my breast out from the top of my shirt, putting his mouth all over my breast. I again said “STOP, I don’t want you to do this”. He then tried to get into my shorts by lying on top of me, suffocating me and holding me down, while his hand tried to get in my shorts. I kept him out and that made him upset. I kept saying, NO, STOP” but he was on top of me and I just froze up inside. He then got off me partially and pulled my shorts and panties to one side and painfully shoved his finger inside of me. I began to sob. I was totally numbed out and paralyzed emotionally. He then got off me and performed oral sex on me for about 2 seconds until I loudly with intent, said “NO STOP, Please!” But I didn’t run or kick him or fight for myself. I just froze up and kept my eyes closed. He then had his shorts off and started loudly saying, “look at me! Look at me..Don’t you want to see what you are missing? I was crying and sobbing. He was angry because I wouldn’t look at him. At that point he shoved his penis inside me and it really hurt. I screamed STOP..I guess loudly enough that he took me seriously, but not before he got at least 2 hard thrusts inside me. He then said, “You know what safe sex is? A condom and a good lawyer”. I had no idea what he was talking about. When it was over he was totally unaffected my tears and the entire act. I got up and got dressed, still totally numb, feeling like I was in some weird dream. I sat down and ate half a waffle, not wanting to exhibit fear. He told me not to tell anyone, especially m AA Sponsor.
I left, got into my car and locked the doors began sobbing and called my old sponsor and went right to her house. She is older and almost in her 70’s. She helped me immensely and I believe was giving me her best advice, but it was bad advice. She told me not to tell anyone, not the police, not my current sponsor or anyone else because would be a “he said-She said” and that I would get a bad reputation in our recovery community and the process would be to traumatizing. She also told me that because I was “pretty” that many of the other women would be happy that I was raped. I know this is false, but it hurt to hear that. I was in total shock and it sounded like a good plan to me because I was numb and I was afraid. For, I was not really in my body to make right decisions or to think clearly for myself. Knowing what I know now I would have called the police right then and there, but I was utterly ashamed and terribly confused and totally numb. Total shock.
Here is the link to her post read full story here…http://stop13stepinaa.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/troll-aa-members-trying-to-crack-the-safety-code-what-a-joke/#comment-5083