blogger – Why am I Doing This Work, and WHO AM I?

Some of you are here for the first time and are wondering why would someone have such a blog.

My name is M and I am NOT an alcoholic. However, I did label myself this stupid word for many years and I did not drink a drop for 37 years. I arrived at AA @ 18 years old.

My blogging name is “massive”

In the summer of 2008, someone very close to me was drinking out of control. So I took him to a young person’s meeting.  To be sure, it was not. It was filled with creepy 50-60 year old men, chain smoking and glaring at the young new hopeful twenty something’s who still had no self esteem. I was horrified.

In the mean time, my estranged DAD shows up back into my life after being gone for 12 years. He was drinking and pill popping  and was showing signs of being mentally sick. He became homeless and lost everything. He once wore a Brooks Brothers suit, worked for Pfizer,  was college educated,  a NY cop, he took us to the Jersey Shore to Surf (awesome) he taught me to swim at age 5.

He brought me to Hawaii in 1975 when my parents divorced and I loved it there.

He turned up at an ER in Las Vegas, and was dying. I flew there to see my Dad and although I had cried buckets of tears for him being lost  after many good years with him, it was hard to see him such a mess. After 8 months I eventually brought him to me in Los Angeles and within 5 days he died.

He is part of my leaving. My DAD hated AA. He hated that I went to it and was caught up in it so radically.

With his death came a realization that what I had, he never wanted. That AA failed my father. In fact, it failed a few other members of my family.

I had many sponsee’s calling me, wanting my attention and I called them all and said I was done sponsoring anyone from now on.  I gave my time, my home, my experience, my soul and friendship and I just wanted to move on. There was something freeing about this. I kept just two woman … They hardly called me.

So my DAD died,  and one of my kids is not doing great… and… a young woman named Kali came to my home group meeting. She was also badly 13 stepped. That means she was preyed on by an older guy with  much more “time” and he knows exactly what he is doing! And I just took the position of GSR (General Service Rep) for my Home Group.

Kali explained to me what happened. Her sponsor said to her,  “what’s your part in it” ?

 I said, “you have no part in it” He is a predator!

I began attending the mixed meetings I no longer attended.

But when I attended the meetings with her at The Marina Center in Culver City, California and The VRC Friday night Meeting at 414 Lincoln, in Venice, CA., I was horrified what I saw. I would not send my son, or my worst enemy there. It appeared that there were men there that were not even alcoholics, trying to get sober hanging out. They were there to pick up women… young new vulnerable women. They looked and acted like sexual predators.

We decided to have a workshop to discuss this. I had been introduced to Paul C. a man who had been an AA trustee and a previous delegate. He shared his 7 page letter he wrote to the AA NYGS Board and it just ripped me apart to read about rape and child molesting stories. Even though I knew a women personally whom her mothers boyfriend  had molested her 35 years ago. She was 5 years old when he, an AA member, who was dating her mom, took her innocence from her in the most horrific way.

I called an old friend Tom, who was a board member in NA for many years and he told me stories about Bill W taking LSD, how Tom Powers called him a sex addict back then and this sent me searching on the web to then find

 I read Orange Papers and attended more horrible meetings that I did not know existed in Los Angeles, CA. For you naysayers… I know there are nice meetings in LA. I’m not talking about those meetings!

I created a workshop with a concerned group of members and the workshops exposed rapes and bad 13 stepping and alot of upset oldtimers confused about how to handle the predators that were taking over their meetings. I thought AA in NY would get on Board and help. This did not happen.

 My group and I had tens of meetings discussing this and we wrote literature called “The Make AA Safer Pamphlet”. It was all good until we went to our West side district. Holy cow…how they responded was like they were trying to cover up something and they wouldn’t give us the time of day. We fought for it and the more we did the more they iced us out. It began to feel like giant, mammoth problem, too big for Kali and I and a few others who really cared.

As the months rolled by, I got a gig singing in a hotel that made me very happy. But even the women in my group began to ice us out. Kali moved back to where she came from and I began to hear the readings with a new light. I felt like I was seeing AA as a new person might see it. AA had changed from when I got sober in Kailua in 1975.

 It was not filled with fresh normal faces. It was not laid back and “take what you like buffet attitude “ had turned into  a more ridged ..”90 meetings and 90 days and what does your sponsor say “ type of rhetoric.

Honestly, I was am independent thinker, a young smart 1970’s hippie. If people said to me then what they say now to people in AA today,

I would have NEVER!!!!!!! come back to even one meeting!!!!!!

In March of 2010, in Los Angeles, Ca at PRAASA, ( a Pacific Regional Area Service assembly) –( nine states and 15 regions)  after much pushing on our part, the chair gave a late night round table entitled,

“Sexual and Financial Predators in AA.”

130 people packed into a room. Many were turned away because there was no more room.

The stories were heart wrenching. The Spanish contingency sat me down and translated as I talked about what we were doing and trying to expose. Then they told me something I could not believe.

That men with many years, old men, were taking young women, middle aged women, any women, up into the mountains to read them their 5th step. I said,  ”what were they doing up in the mountains?” And the old lady with her heavy accent said, with that look in her eyes like” you know”  

“They make them have sex with them after they read their 5th step!. In California?  I asked,  ”not Mexico?

Yes she said.

 Right here…in California.

I gasped!

 There were even meetings were “they tied people up against their will” they said in Spanish as she translated. I was beyond stunned.

In the workshop at the very end a young spanish speaking woman told how she had a friend

who had recently killed himself because of this 13 stepping. To be sure many of us were crying. I had an earlier version of my pamphlet and we gave them out.

In Sept of 2010 I went to Hawaii for a woman’s AA event to see if I could spread the word.

At dinner with my two closets long time AA friends they told me about

the Murder of Kristine and Saundra Cass ( age 13 ), by a man who was Court ordered to AA even though he was unstable and had mental issues and had violent issues with women.

Fact: Judges are sentencing 3rd level sex offenders and violent criminals to AA/NA meetings unknown to the general public and also unknown to most 12 step members)

It pushed me over the top. Then Herbert Tracy White was murdered by a couple in downtown Los Angeles, CA., who pretended they wanted help as addicts.  He was such a sweet guy.

I was done. Thomas B., the AA Area chair was not helpful and so was the district chair a … It did seem like a dead end. That the so called AA structure did not work. That in fact, my local government still worked better then AA’s upside down triangle rigamarole!

But then an even stranger thing began to happen. At my lovely little safe women’s meeting I was uncomfortable. As they read the literature from 1935 which is done at every meeting,  I looked around and watched them chanting and nodding their heads up and down.

I saw AA for the first time as a CULT. Wow…I thought.  What am I doing? I don’t belong here anymore.

I attended Smart Recovery and SOS meetings and I loved them. I cried alot over the years I wasted in AA. The years it stole from me. The years I was a fool for believing in such crap.

I made blogging friends from all over the country. Women and men victims alike wrote me harrowing tails of abuse, assault, rape, scamming and controlling mentally ill sponsors type abuse. It seemed people were leaving AA in droves.

 I created a radio show because no one  in the media who I reached out to would tell this story of horrible cover up going on in Alcoholics Anonymous. Every night in every city this s####t is going on.

In closing…I left AA after 36 years because I could not tolerate the lies that were read over and over again with no thought or willingness to change or improve an archaic addiction modality, the turning of the blind eye to the Sexual and Financial Predators, and the lack of accountability with all of the above, from the local groups to The New York Alcoholics Anonymous World Headquarters.

Now, I spend my nights with my family, new normal friends, going to movies, listening to live music at clubs, writing, blogging, cooking, being an activist for victims in AA and watching my favorite TV Crime Shows or Documentaries!

I am busy making my film called The 13th Step to be released in December of 2013.

Now you know more about Monica and “massive”. I have learned much about many of you on the phone, emails and skype and private emailing.

 I have learned so much about the judicial system, DUI’s, Court ordering, what are my rights, your rights, how bad the sexual predation is, how bad the controlling sponsor thing is, how ridiculous the free promotion by stars in Hollywood is, how AA is dishonestly depicted in TV and movies…

In January of 2011 I met Dee Dee Stout over the phone because of her appearance in Penn *& Teller Bullshit about AA.  Through her I met author and Journalist Gabrielle Glaser, who recently published a book called “Her Best Kept Secret, why women drink and how they can regain control.”

I am a chapter in her book. All the work I did on the inside of AA trying to make it safer, how much push back we got at every level and how I finally decided to leave AA (may 2011) so I could do more productive work and make a film exposing AA and what the truth is about this Institution that is so highly regarded and so widely used in rehabs.

She tells my whole story and weaved in and out of others who tried to make it safer and other who were 13 stepped.

Then I was on Katie Couric on ABC talking about it with Gabrielle.

So now you know more.

Join me in a movement that is growing, so that millions can find the other free options, the use of science based therapies and medicine such as Naltrexone and stop the madness of using a 75 year old religious conversion laypersons support group for a serious health issue.


Join me and please tell me your story!

CELEBRATING over 103,000 thousand listens and downloads of blogger “massive” Monica Richardson on Blogtalk radio “Safe Recovery”


i am not powerless


WOW. A mile to be sure.

Thanks for all your support. 🙂 Any suggestions for shows or guests you would like to hear on my show just drop me a line. Exposing the dangers of AA was my first priority and then moved to also interviewing the leaders of the other options available to help with alcohol and drug overuse, both free and for profit.

Books are a great way to educate ourselves so if you’ve found a great new author that I have not interviewed Im interested in that as well!

We will be launching my KICK Starter campaign around August 6th! STAY TUNED!!!

you can always download and listen for free on itunes on any device.



OK…so I just watched the film on HBO. HOLY SHIT !!!!! What a tragic story. This really needs to scare people about who is sitting in AA and NA meetings!

This poor family…they did not deserve to die this way. And the fact that Dr Petit survived the brutal beating with the baseball bat.

petit family_pic

The police knew these guys. The mother of Josh,  knew where he went each night when he went out to rob homes in their own neighborhood. Bad, bad mom!


Let’s take a look at their rap sheets and let’s see how many times they were sent to AA/NA instead of jail.

What a great film. AA and NA exposed to the core in a very subtle way.



viven leighParents pay attention!!!

Lately there are some celebrities that are wanting to make your kid into an  addict /alcoholic, even though they were not getting sober as a teen.

Pushing teens into Sober High Schools is making me really upset. I was a teen when I went to AA in 1975. It was not good for me then either.  I was sexually preyed on, and …I was mentally, emotionally broke down by them because I would not admit I was powerless for almost 2 years.

Bill Wilson the Founder of AA was in his mid 40’s when he created AA.

There is no such thing as a teenage alcoholic and or  addict. That is such nonsense Hollywood Bullshit!!!!

PARENTS DO YOUR RESEARCH! DO  NOT EVER SEND SOMEONE UNDER 25 to AA. ITS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR MIND AND YOUR CHILD COULD BE RAPED AND MURDERED! Follow The Karla Brada Murder Trial, Follow the new HBO Documentary ” The Cheshire Murders, follow the Kristine and Saundra Cass Murders in Hawaii from April 2010.

NO JUDGE OR LAWYER SHOULD EVER MENTION AA to anyone ever again in a court of law.

1.Its highly religious. ( A made up religion at best )

2.It filled with sexual predators of numerous types. Convicted ones…and oldtimers who have mastered their art of 13 stepping bullshit for 50 years.

3. The “fellowship” covers up these behaviors and blames the victim like we were in the 1950’s!

4. Its become very controlling and cultish

5. Its demeaning and powerless based. If you don’t buy the whole package you are made to feel you are wrong. And I mean REALLY WRONG.

6. WHY would anyone send anyone to a group of laypersons who are not trained  for help with a real problem …to a place where they are studying a book written by one loser nutjob from the 1930″s.

7. Send your love ones to Smart Recovery, SOS, Hams Harm Reduction, Moderation, or try going to your Dr, reading The Cure for Alcoholism and taking the drug Naltrexone.

8. Because the courts are sending violent offenders to AA, the AA rooms are filled with tons of sick, sick men and women who are there to target the vulnerable. There are even pedophiles and rapists going to AA without being sent there by courts , because the victims are so asy to prey, they are in such a vulnerable state.

We have to stop this!!! Please write to me if you want to be involved in the action part of what I am doing. We are doing work in addition to making my Documentary to expose the insanity going on in AA and its culture.

I can not do this alone. We need Your help! I went to ICYPAA last weekend. Things are very very bad in young people AA!!! The brainwashing was abominable. The sexual harassment disgusting!

Under the guise of anonymity they hide this crap!!! It was pretty upsetting…lot’s of work to do.


HBO FILM “The Cheshire Murders” ABOUT THE PETIT KILLERS – These MEN were Alcoholics Anonymous Members

12 Step Member Treasurer Sentenced To Death In Petit Connecticut Murders

I copied this story from website. Neighbors who live near Stepping Stones in Bedford, NY need to be aware of who might be on those tour buses visiting the Bill and Lois Wilson home.

Posted on January 27, 2012

Steven Hayes and Joshua Komisarjevsky first crossed paths at a Hartford, Connecticut, drug treatment center in the summer of 2006, according to police.

Both men, career criminals, had been in and out of jail for similar non-violent crimes. Twice they had overlapping stays at the same halfway house or drug center, and the two attended Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings together and became friends, according to a detective’s report. ( ALone these murders would have never taken place. THEY MET IN AA!

They shared similar interests — often the downfall that led them into the criminal justice system — but nobody knew at the time that their friendship would result in what police and prosecutors say was one of the most brutal crimes in memory in the prosperous town of Cheshire, Connecticut.

Connecticut killer sentenced to die for “unimaginable horror”

Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48, and her daughters Hayley Petit, 17, and Michaela Petit, 11
Mary Ellen GodinReuters2:14 p.m. CST, January 27, 2012
NEW HAVEN, Connecticut (Reuters) – A judge ordered Joshua Komisarjevsky to be executed this summer for the 2007 murders of a mother and her two daughters during a brutal home invasion in Connecticut, saying on Friday that he committed a crime of “unimaginable horror.”Judge Jon Blue told Komisarjevsky, 31, that he alone was to blame for his new address on death row after the triple murders of Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48, and her daughters Hayley Petit, 17, and Michaela Petit, 11, and beating of husband and father Dr. William Petit Jr.”This is a terrible sentence but one you have written for yourself,” Blue told Komisarjevsky in New Haven Superior Court.”Your crime was one of unimaginable horror and sadness,” the judge said. “Your fate is now in the hands of others. May God have mercy on your soul.”He set an execution date of July 20 pending an appeal, which could drag out the matter for years.Before the judge spoke, Komisarjevsky, dressed in an orange jumpsuit, denied he killed or raped anyone and blamed “the hurt I caused” on being a victim himself of sex abuse as a child, drug addiction, and his accomplice Steven Hayes, 48, already sentenced to death row.Hawke-Petit was strangled and the girls died of smoke inhalation after the home was set afire. Hawke-Petit was raped and Michaela Petit was sexually assaulted.Dr. Petit, who had been tied up and beaten unconscious, escaped as the home went up in flames.,0,2603124.story
New Haven, Connecticut (CNN) – A judge in New Haven sentenced a 31-year-old man to death Friday for his role in a deadly home invasion that killed a woman and her two daughters in 2007.

Jurors convicted Joshua Komisarjevsky in October on six capital felony charges. The 12-member jury had recommended death by lethal injection on each of the counts.

“The task of sentencing another human being to death is the most sober and somber experience a judge can have,” said Superior Court Judge Jon Blue.

Komisarjevsky responded Friday, saying that he “came into this trial angry and defiant.”

It’s a “surreal experience to be condemned to die,” he said. “Our apathetic pursuits trampled the innocent.”

He said, “I did not rape. I did not pour that gas or light that fire.”

“I will never find peace again and my soul is torn,” Komisarjevsky added.

The family of his victims left the courtroom before Komisarjevsky spoke.

Richard Hawke, in a victim’s statement prior to the sentencing, said the killings of his daughter and granddaughters had left him “half-past dead.”

“They offered to give you everything you asked for, you didn’t have to take their lives,” he told Komisarjevsky. “You will from now on be known as a prison number in the book of death. You are now in God’s hands.”

The man convicted of being Komisarjevsky’s accomplice, Steven Hayes, was sentenced to death in 2010. Juries convicted the pair on charges that they beat and tied up Dr. William Petit Jr., raped and strangled his wife, molested one of their daughters and set the house on fire before trying to flee.

Photos of Petit Crime Scene-

AA is Deemed Highly Religious Already in 25 states. Know Your Rights! Attention DUI …

Join Massive and Bob Warner who sued the state and won back in 1996 for a 1 hour show on Religious meeetings….AA ….ICYPAA ….young people getting indoctrinated into AA so young. How can we stop this?

Who do we need to educate. Parents! Lawyers! Therapists! Teachers! PTA! Doctors!

A.A.- How Alcoholics Anonymous Steals Your Soul: Indoctrinating America in 12 Easy Steps [Paperback]
Mr. Robert Howard Warner (Author)

Monica Richardson (blogger massive) and Author Gabrielle Glaser on Katie Couric ABC DAYTIME SHOW!

“Live” in NYC with Katie Couric and Author Gabrielle Glaser talking about 13 stepping in AA and the court ordering of violent offenders and sex offenders to AA meetings!

THANK YOU ABC AND KATIE COURIC for being the 1st talk show and 1st network to have guests on telling this 60 year old story about sexual predation in AA.

I am beyond happy to have this happen. Of course I wish I had time to say more or that some of what I said was kept in….but regardless… the truth was told. I did feel vulnerable and as many of you know I am very embarrassed that I was in AA over 3 decades and that I drank the kool aid for too many of those years.

The good part is that I saw the light and left over 2 years ago after trying to make AA safer. They will be forced to Make it safer.

There are many aspects to AA that are sending people out in droves. Its not just predation by criminals. Its the controlling psychological, emotional abuse by other members and sponsors who think they know it all.

fyi For any lurkers…

AA has no trained facilitators.
AA members often give medical advice when they are not Doctors
AA members often tell people to get off their medications.
AA is not a government agency
AA has no safety policies in place.
AA is deemed “highly religious in 25 states.
AA is filled with just regular people telling others how to live their lives.
AA is not safe for teens or young woman
AA members study a book from 1939 that is filled with god, made up christian dogma, and it has never been updated.
AA makes millions in its NYC office
No one gets paid in the AA structure except 12 people in NY.
AA makes people feel like they have to go their forever.
AA tells people they are broken.
AA was different in 1975. It was more a buffet….take what you like. Today its like …lets me shove this down your throat.

IN closing…if AA was like it is today, I would have gone to one meeting and never returned. WOW…
Stay tuned for the launching of my Kickstarter Campaign.

Former Teacher Sexually Assaults Teen He Met at Alcoholics Anonymous: Police

Boy This stuff is finally being reported in the NEWS!
Thanks Anti D for telling me.


A former Philadelphia school teacher is accused of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl that he befriended at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

According to investigators with the Montgomery County the criminal complaint, Paul Jefferey Corrigan, 47, was acting as the girl’s mentor.

The two met at an AA meeting in March. The teen told police they began texting in May. She said that evolved into a sexual relationship after Corrigan said he loved her and she “fell for it.” First, the victim would sneak out of her house and meet Corrigan at a neighborhood parking lot in King of Prussia, where they would “chill, cuddle and kiss,” according to the criminal complaint. Sometimes Corrigan bought her cigarettes and alcohol, according to court records.

read full story here…