Update- Stop sexual assault and sexual harassment in AA- Protesting -the 80 year Founders Day Celebration in Akron, Ohio- Will you join me?

rape protest

Change of plans….I have decided I do not want to spent my Fourth of July around 50 K AA people. So Ohio is better.  We are organizing a protest for this event.

I urge all of you to go see, HUNTING GROUNDS by Kirby Dick. A film about sexual assault on College campuses. This is laying the ground work for the film and our work. It really gave me some ideas.

If you have been harmed in AA in any way Sexual assault, rape, 13 stepping, raped by a sponsor, financially scammed.. ….My sign will say I was 13 stepped ..Say NO to  sexual harassment in AA, Someone’s sign will say Rape is hidden in AA, or I was raped by an AA member !!!! Maybe your sign will say. I was financially  scammed by my sponsor in AA, etc.

Will you join us?

ATTENTION: Class action Lawsuit being prepared for Pilots Extorted and Forced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings though HIMS Program.

lawsuit picture



Please contact Pilot,  Brent Weyhrauch, for all matters regarding coercion, and forced attendance to AA. If you or any pilot you know is being forced to attend and AA based rehab, which is all they know, you can fight back. There is a group of lawyers who have come together to sue on behalf of Pilots…

The FAA and their airline companies. Please contact Brent right away if you are a pilot and were coerced and extorted to attend AA.

When did it become okay to forced Pilots, to a religious, lay person, unregulated pod of people, and dangerous criminals.

A place with no regulations, no safety rules, no accountability, no science, and no trained leaders.

We are coming together to stop this insanity.


The Pacific Group, The Atlantic Group, Midtown and Toxic Meetings within Alcoholics Anonymous.

I was a member of the Malia Discussion Group in Hawaii from 1976 – 1983 when I moved away and came to California. After Harry Lake, ( the co-founder) AA Hawaii Delegate,  died, things really changed and many women were  no longer lovely dovey to Mary Lake his long time wife and partner in life. They were two fabulous Hawaiian oldtimers-AA people that I knew like family. monica_harry_age21

Big Richard is on my left and Harry is to my right. After Mary  died the meeting felt apart. In AA when the leader dies, so does the meeting. This is very true with big meetings. The Malia Discussion Group held on Thursday nights from 8-9:30 pm, began in Kalihi in 1976. It was held in a Community Center, near the Kalihi Palama Settlement. There  were eight of us. I was the youngest member of the group. Everyone else was over 40 I think…. I was 19. We soon moved into a High School Cafeteria at Kalakaua High School in a very local poor Hawaiian neighborhood located in Honolulu.

The group blossomed over a short time to over 200 people attending. No meeting on the island was this active and well attended. The format was after a 10-15 minute share, we divided up into 10 tables, with 10 leaders ( you had to be a home group member to be a leader) , and we spent the reast of the meeting talking. This way everyone got time to talk. Great idea we all thought, and it was.

Once a month was birthday night and all the birthday people got on stage to share.

This was my home group for years. We held Busniess meetings every month or as needed and we had many great group discussions. I thought all good meetings in AA were run this way.

There is a post over on the fix that is talking about …

Here is the link …http://www.thefix.com/content/cult-aa-Atlantic-Group-Clancy-Pacific-Group-London-Joys2092?page=all

I think that the groups that PG has influenced are some of the worst meetings in AA and it’s culture. I agree that the smaller meetings were always better. Creeps hide in bigger meetings because they can.

We will see….

Here is how it could play out. I finally realized this , thanks to my assistant Val, who is also a coordinator for a small Art Museum here is Los Angeles, It was because of her training with the volunteers that we put two and two together.



Convicted Judge Richard Baumgartner, now-Ex-judge In Drug, Sex Cover-up, Sentenced

Judge RichardBaumgartner

This is something that is shocking, and I don’ t mean just his face! This trending story does not surprise me after sitting in courts for the last 2 years for Karla’s trial. He sat on the first Drug Court in Tennesse. He was Having sex, buying pain pills from a woman half his age, who also went through drug court. Geez…

GREENEVILLE, Tenn. — A former circuit judge in Tennessee has been sentenced to six months in federal prison for lying to cover up a scheme that provided him with painkillers and sex.

Richard Baumgartner expressed remorse at sentencing Wednesday in federal court, saying he was greatly shamed and regretted his actions. The 65-year-old former judge in Knox County was convicted in November of five counts of misprision of a felony.

Authorities said he lied to cover up a conspiracy involving a defendant from his court, a woman about half his age who had supplied him with pills and sex.


Full Story here…http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/10/richard-baumgartner-guilty-drugs-sex-cover-up_n_3054505.html

What does Hollywood, AA and The US government Have in common?

hollywood sigb pic

I was in a car ( Uber) … I could n’t  drive because of my cast on my leg,  the other day and we got to talking about sexual predation. I told him about my film, The 13th step.

He said some very interesting things abut pedophilia in Hollywood. He thought it would never  be exposed. I disagree. Many times on www.Stinkin-thinkin.com, a huge anti AA site from 2009-2011.  I was told that AA could not be sued. I told them, they were wrong. I was alone with many of my thoughts back then. But now I see I was right . I knew they could  be sued because I understood AA.

I also understand Hollywood. But how these three entities are similar and interconnected is making me see how big this fucking beast is.

I do think that pedophilia will be e exposed in a Documentary on HBO one day … Or similar. I do think Court ordering to AA will end. I think that one day science and kindness will help those with alcohol and drug overuse issues. and no one will use the word Alcoholic or addict anymore. I have hope. I think that judges and lawyers will be educated and see what we see.

It won’t be easy… but I am up for the challenge. Are you ?

Each part of the puzzle inter twines and feeds into the other.  Court ordering, into Dui Classes, that the  send you to AA meetings,  to Sober living , then rehab sends you to AA. Hollywood depicts AA as a nice support group .what  Bullshit. Then Hollywood is a mouth piece for AA propaganda that feeds into more coming to AA . Those who are famous are already considered “special” and Godlike.

If I focus On how bad it all is …it gets depressing so I don’t . There are 350,000,000  million people in America today. There are only 800,000 AA members in american today. 1.2 million in the USA and Canada are the numbers. 2 million World Wide I think they are decreasing though. I have seen so many meetings shrinking and GONE AWAY !

But if AA is promoted on The White House website, and it is , and if  AA is promoted in Government,  which it is, in the Military,  and police are told to go there….It’s bad.  Its really bad.

The FAA, The AMA , THE ASAM, The Nursing Associations. Lawyers, Pilots, military ….you fucking name it.

But we have mini groups of pilots,  Doctors, and those sent to AA by Professionals who are coming together to create class action lawsuits.

Little mini fires burning. Surrounding the cult of alcoholics anonymous.

A place that disempowers many, bullies and brainwashes smart, educated , creative people all over the world . I am up for the work.  I am up for the fight . I am becoming ready. The film The 13th Step will help. We need your help. I will not stop till I change what is going on at Every level!

The film will be screening at The (In) Justice for All Film Festival in Chicago. We hope to see you there!

massive- blog owner 🙂

I found a cassette of me Speaking in 1986 in Santa Monica, CA


OMG- I just listened to this tape that I found as I was cleaning up. I was  29 and sober 11 years at that time.  As I listened to the patter of my much younger voice, I could hear the nervousness, yet when I talked about AA, you can hear my confidence, about The steps and the program, the traditions and being MS AA. WOW was I brainwashed.

The things I said on this tape are so…I don’t know what words to put to this …

I was really brainwashed. I said at least 10 times how much I loved AA.

I’m glad I found it though.  Sitting at home with my foot up in a cast, I was lucky I  was reading WILD  by Cheryl Strayed a fantastically written book about how she walked the PCT, The Pacific Crest Trail, and found herself. Not with AA! wildpic

I have been thinking about my own story as I poured through the pages of this book, not wanting it to end. I have thought about writing a book about those years I traveled around the country, especially when I was alone and how I climbed a mountain in Colorado. How I hitchhiked across the country alone twice, and 4 or 5 times with  a friend.  As I read Cheryl’s story, I could not help my mind as wandered way back to those times and places that I have long forgotten about.

There are facts about that period, that I have been trying to remember. Like How many times did I really cross the country alone…I think its twice. From NYC to Colorado. And one time from California – NYC. ..with a stop off in Denver. Then their were the trips North from Denver through Idaho crossing west to Oregon through the moutons where MS Stayed hiked, I would up on the rainy beaches of Oregon. Memories I will never forget.

So I’m glad I found this tape of me telling the story I told because all I said was true. All of it except when I’m talking about AA.  I mean my story. The real things that Monica did…before I went to AA. The AA brainwashed part is hard to listen to. Yet even in the tape I say

” I wondered if I was a alcoholic or not , but I knew I had a problem with alcohol” I said in my share. So that was honest. It’s not like I was lying. Its just when I am trying so hard to be such a good AAer, that you hear the push,  me wanting to belong, me trying to fit in.

I did have a story. I was drinking too much. I was only 17. But, I was not an alcoholic of the Bill Wilson variety. When I had enough, I quit. By myself. All Alone.  I was also a person of faith. I believed in GOD. I loved spirituality. This was before AA ruined that word for me. But listening to this tape I realized that they do not OWN THAT WORD ANYMORE !!!

It was hard to listen to hear how I thought I wasn’t attractive. Thats pretty sad looking back now at my photos. But you can see how I carry my body ( slouching shoulders) , that I’m not standing up straight and owning how awesome I was ….like an AA stepper fool always looking for my part, my character defects! SHIT ! and you can see that my self esteem was still not good. ) SAD 🙁

I am so glad that after all the years of wanting  to be a singer/songwriter, and an actress, that it was in the leaving of AA and making a Documentary exposing AA that gave me something where I finally feel the equanimity, that I had never felt while I was in AA.

I was also so passionate about AA in this tape…Holy shit….I should transfer a snippet of it to digital and play it on my radio show. There is some really stepper shit that includes all that we hate here. I know I have told you, I was a koolaid drinking fool. But now, I have it on tape in that sweet higher 29 year old voice speaking even more rapidly then I speak now!


DO any of you have recording of you speaking when you were a stepper? I’m shaking my head.

What Does The KKK, The Boys Scouts and The Catholic Church all have in common with Alcoholics Anonymous

aa meetingspic

I was over on The Fix reading the story about Karla Brada’s murder http://www.thefix.com/content/aa-fault-murder-one-its-members  and the suing by her courageous parents, Hector and Jaro Mendez to AA in NY. I noticed one line that this writer said about  how  AA was nothing more then a simple “support group” and they were completely unorganized and their little groups are not connected to NY Main World Headquarters. The article mentions me and how my ideas about safety are….well…you can read it and see what you think. But some of the stuff kinda pisses me off.

Is AA at Fault for the Murder of One of its Members?

By Zachary Siegel 12/05/14

“I reached out to a group called International Lawyers in Alcoholics Anonymous (ILAA) inquiring into the validity of such a case filed against AA. Patrick Reily, ILAA’s treasurer, got back to me and said, “Now that certainly presents some practical problems. How do you get service on an unincorporated association that has no structure?”

I find it interesting that a lawyer does not even know how highly organized AA is. From it’s very top in NYC where they rent an entire floor at the Interfaith Building on Riverside Drive, in Manhattan to the connecting links of the Pacific Regional (includes 9 states and 13 regions) AA Service Assemblies held every year, to each area, then District, then Meetings where each group that has GSR ( General Service Rep) connects the groups and brings the money back to NY GSO ( AA Headquarters) where they pay Phyllis Haliday some $350,000 a year, to be their General Service Manager. This is all public information and all 501c3’s are required to post their tax returns on the internet and be public. You should see their hefty retirement packages. Lets see what AA in NY is doing with your quarters and dollars that you send in. How are they using those funds to help other “alcoholics”. They aren’t. FYI 50 % of their donations do not even come from their members, which is a violation of their 501c3 status. Its comes from selling books and literature to non AA entities.

Once you are a treasurer and in ” the system” AA will send you letters asking you for money. Soliciting groups all the way across the country, all the way into my home asking me and my group for money. So yes, they run AA. New York AA runs that big machine in NYC and I know the people there. I Knew one person very well that ran AA NY for 10 years.

Its sad that even, nice intelligent AA members think the groups run AA. The whole upside down triangle stuff   Upsidedowntrianglepic…is nonsense. That’s because they read those traditions at every meeting and the preamble that brainwashes you, telling you to believe something that is not so. That is a joke.

Even NAWS (Narcotics Anonymous) six years ago changed their service structure, because a woman was raped by a man who answered one of their hotlines. They realized that something needed to change. They began a series of workshops to address sexual, violent, predatory behavior in NA. They called it ” The Atmosphere of Recovery)”. Well good for them. NA has more updated literature. The NA Blue Book was published in 1981 not 1939. NA stopped saying the LORDS PRAYER…good for them. But their motives were not really about being more inclusive or secular. Their motives were so that the courts could send people there and NA would seem less religious then AA.

I sat in a Marriott Banquet Hall, in Woodland Hills, Ca when I was still a koolaid drinking AA old-timer, for a birthday dinner for an old NA friend, with their entire board. One Board member laughed as she explained this to me. They ( The NA Board) fully recognized and decided without the approval of the entire “Fellowship” through a vote from the “Group Conscience” that the NA BOARD ran NA. Not the groups or fellowship. At least NA is honest enough with themselves to know that not enough groups have GSR’s and even if they did, the majority do not have their shit together enough to have a real business meeting and a vote on a single opinion including Court coercion.

I do think that if their was a group conscience taken in AA/NA today about Court mandating, both with DUI’s of innocent civilians and the court ordering of violent and sex offenders, I would bet that the fellowship would vote a big fat NO to any court ordering and would agree that it is a violation of the 3 rd Tradition. That is one of the things about AA that works, is when someone is ready and attends AA on their own…simply…they are ready to stop or change. Because they are motivated from within. But even when people are motivated from within, sometimes AA /NA don’t work, because they need medication, they need trauma work, they need a real therapist, they need other things…not 12 steps steeped deeply in a religious cult created by Frank Buchman. ( The Oxford Movement) which AA and NA are both based upon.

The KKK has tried this tactic and lost in court many times with the SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW FIRM fighting to stop hate crimes by White supremacists groups.

The Church has tried this tactic many times with hundreds of years of coverups. But as we have seen with the Church, The KKK, and The Boys Scouts…the day came when they were sued and lost and had to pay the millions to victims harms. That day will come when children’s rights, women’s rights, LGBT rights and just simple AA/NA members who have been sexually harassed, raped, ripped off, gaslighted, given bad Medical advice, children molested, etc…will get their day in court, fight and win with money damages, and to force the Courts, Judges , AA and NA to end court coercion and force AA and NA to create Safety Polices, practices and workshops to make 12 step meetings and their culture safer.

If they do not . They will be gone forever like the Washingtonians … and I mean GONE. Because AA is very involved with the DOJ, COURTS, Prison System, Probation and everywhere else. SO…what destroyed the Washingtonians will also kill AA/NA.

The whole thing with extorting Commerical airline Pilots to a type of AA that no one would tolerate in the regular world makes my skin shiver. The HIMS program was created in the 1970’s  http://www.himsprogram.com/Content/Treatment


AA and its relationships with The Courts http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/mg-05_coopwithcourt.pdf 

(Im sorry for my long posts but I fractured my ankle.  I’m in a cast and foot up and housebound. Thank goodness for Netflix, Blogging, On Demand Movies,  TV and thank GOD I am also reading a great book. “WILD” by Cheryl Strayed.

Some say Alcoholics Anonymous is a cult…a religious lay person support group…DUI Coercion Nightmare Must be exposed and Stopped!


SO… If it is a cult…sorta….and if it is “Highly religious” as 35 state courts have said it is…then how are 1.4 million Americans being forced, bullied, threatened, coerced to attend AA/NA meetings daily in DUI courts, every year,  as if AA were really an alcohol or drug treatment program?

With each piece of investigation that we uncover…the more I am horrified. How immeshed AA is with the DOJ, Probation, Criminal Justice, Judges, Lawyers, trickling down to government paid rehabs , using Medicare, government sanctioned Sober living ( bullshit house owned by shady AA members charging  lots of money for a shitty bed and prohibitionist rules) . Children have died in Sober Living , all over the country. Sober living is liken to flop houses of the 1920’s. There is no over sight, no regulations. Please see Wendy , Jarrods, Mother. https://www.facebook.com/wendy.mcentyre  for her fight against sober living. Her son died in one.

The level of corruption with AA, Judges sentencing people to a religious lay person rouge meetings, with no safety polices, for a DUI offense is unconscionable.

I have been told that everyone who comes out of prison is also forced down this same AA rehab, sober living road. I was shocked when I first heard this. It’s true. Even people with no drug or alcohol problems, are forced into this system.

Who is making all the money?  I am digging. I think eventually we all need to write to very specific journalists.

SO I suggest you all get on twitter so when the time comes we can reach way more then 4 million, which is how many were on this site last year,  2014. There are 350 million Americans. This problem is going on in Canada, the UK is very bad, and numerous European countries . Australia and South America are very bad with sexual predatory criminal behavior. ..Never mind rapes, pedophilia and murders, many being covered up.

If you can write in another language , Please contact me and we will post on the front page  some posts in a few different languages.

Ideally, I would love to see FRONTLINE do a story. But I know for a fact there are stepper lovers there. But Courts and AA ordering… maybe someone there would see what is really happening.

VICE.COM reporter is seeking People who have been Sexually Assaulted/raped by AA members.

vice on hbo pic

This is very good news. This is for a written piece. Not on camera. You can change your name and location for your own privacy.

I have spoken with her and she asked me to put up a post so we can see if more people will come forward. We already have a few, but she wants to talk to more people about it.

Please contact Ceceila  Tell her Monica referred you from the Leaving AA blog.

Secrets of the Vatican

I watched this tonight and could not help but think how closely this looks like AA.  You can watch this film streaming on NETFLIX right now.

From PBS and Frontline: Pope Benedict made history when he announced his resignation, becoming the first Pope to step down voluntarily in six hundred years. In his wake he left a bitterly divided Vatican mired in scandals. But is Benedict’s successor, Pope Francis, taming the forces that helped destroy Benedict’s papacy? Is he succeeding in lifting the Church out of crisis? Nearly a year in the making, this special FRONTLINE goes inside the Vatican – one of the world’s most revered and mysterious institutions – to unravel the remarkable series of events that led to the resignation that shook the world. Through interviews with those at the very heart of what happened – cardinals, priests, convicted criminals, police, prosecutors and whistle-blowers – FRONTLINE gives a first-hand account of the final days of Benedict’s papacy and the current battle to set the Church on a new path under Francis.