WHY Many Young People are Leaving AA- A blogger with a sense of humor- By Anonymous

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I had to post this hear- It spoke to me at so many levels and …she  has a great sense of humor and well— I like her writing ….JC93 on said: Edit

I broke the news to my sponsor just yesterday morning during my “call time”, that I no longer knew if I believed the program. She was shocked- she had absolutely no idea what to say to me. She would have to call her sponsor and “get back to me”. (my first thought was, really? You are over 40 years old and you have no idea what to say to me, you need to go check with another grown woman who somehow miraculously holds the answers for your life?) But, I digress.
My leaving was in the making a long time before I realized it. It was little moments building slowly… and then all at once, I hit a wall and knew that this program was no longer right for me. At all! And the further I get away from it (I know, only one day being “out” to my sponsor about it, and maybe a week and a half being “out” to friends). But still! I am seeing so much and I am embarrassed- truly embarrassed- to have been SO sold out for it.
From the beginning, I always had a problem with turning to the AA literature for the answers in life. I always felt that creepy cult-y quality at conferences. Chanting, goofy platitudes and phrases, the lingo and phraseology of the program, etc. But I always pushed them down or ignored them because that is what you are taught in the program- “your best thinking got you here”. I wasn’t allowed to trust myself, I had to run it all through a sponsor. It seemed like I could never be right. If I ever had a problem with anything- justified or not, valid or not- my sponsor’s response was “well if you think there’s something wrong with everyone else… it means there is something wrong with you” and then out would come the standard “Go-to’s” of AA (Read, pray, talk to another AA, Go to a meeting, rinse, wash, repeat for the rest of your life!)
One thing that always rubbed me the wrong way was the circular reasoning. Oh, you’re doubting the program? Go read the literature OF THE PROGRAM. And I would always think “That makes zero sense!”. So for a long time(maybe a year out of my 20 months In) I refused (without telling my sponsor) to read my BB/12&12 every day like I was supposed to. But my “Moment” came when I was finally asked to speak- after a year and a half in the program it was “time”, the AA Old timers deemed. And from the moment I was asked, this feeling of doubt, and unease, and fear, and confusion just kept building and building. I caved and told my sponsor about it the night I spoke. She barely even addressed it. I thought, this program is my whole life; I depend on you for everything. Can’t you at least PRETEND (You know, “act as if”) that you give a crap about my feelings? I guess not. Well somehow I managed to get up there and spew out that AA jargon. People thought I was amazing- I’m a pretty good parrot, I guess. Just a few days later, I knew- absolutely knew- that I was leaving the program. I was terrified. I cried, I prayed, I was even suicidal. This program had been everything to me- family, friends, social life, spiritual advice, support group, they even played doctor. But once my eyes were open.. I couldn’t un-see the things I saw. And I saw what I had been trying to see all along- but wasn’t allowed to see: the inconsistencies, the cult-like qualities, the hypocrisy, and the flat out mean-ness of some of the principles! (Who tells anyone, let alone a vulnerable, depressed, drunk, that he can either “join AA or get drunk and die”. Really, who does that? )freedom 2

At first I was nervous and scared; I was nervous about my sponsor’s reaction, about losing my friends, about being gossiped about (those of us who were in the program.. you know what I am talking about. Gossip disguised with concern for “her program”. Also ashamed that I took part in that when I was a member!). I knew I would join the procession of stories: “she thought she could do it without us…” “There was this one girl who came for almost two years, and then.. she Went Out” “Come see us when you need us again!” “We thought she would make it…”Etc, etc, etc.


But then, after a day or two I realized I didn’t care. I felt so FREE when I finally decided to quit. I feel amazing! I spoke to my counselor about it, my parents, my best friend in the program (who supports me and is also questioning AA) and my best friend out of the program. And I will discuss it with my psychiatrist when I see her next week (I am bipolar, which of course is “not allowed” in AA, at least the kind of AA I went to. You maybe were allowed to BE bipolar, or depressed, or whatever, but you sure as heck weren’t allowed to talk about it, and taking medication was very, very frowned upon. You weren’t working your program right if you were on meds… you weren’t REALLY sober…). The point is, I have taken steps to replace what AA was in my life. I am also going to church again(a personal decision, please don’t attack it). So I feel very comfortable that I am NOT going to live a life as a miserable “Dry Drunk”, nor will I EVER end up in “the rooms” again. I will NOT close out my comment by saying “Thanks for listening” ……It is scary and sad the reaction that certain words evoke in me… The lingo runs deep! Anyway, glad to be out. :)

LOL!! :)

The Guardian and Jon Stewart mention The 13th Step and Monica Richardson in today’s Article


WOW is this a nice surprise. I don’t think I could ask for a nicer present then this one a sleepy, Sunday morning in California.

Jon Stewart,  who was an AA member for 14 years, left AA almost 2 years ago and we began to speak on Skype and through email. I had him on my radio show Blog talk radio Safe recovery , www.blogtalkradio.com/saferecovery and we finally met in person in May when we screened the film in London at The Mayfair  . It was like meeting an old friend from AA  who was now an ex stepper. We had many thoughts in common and some of his experiecne was very different from mine. He still feels AA saved his life and I never felt like that. I feel like I saved my life. But none the less, we agree on 90 % of everything else.

He is a super nice guy with alot of important stuff to say about change around alcohol over use…ect…


Here is the link. Please go and speak your mind. Love you !!!

JOHN STAMOS court ordered to 52 Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings


This is a violation of John Stamos’s rights. We surely wish John the best and hope that he doesn’t get sucked in .

When will this stop? Its such a machine the court ordering. AA in NY Loves it. Push another celebrity into the cult…:( …

I don’t think he will be sucked into it, but  I wish someone sane and famous would fight the coercion.


FIGHT BACK JOHN STAMOS- I will send you a copy of my film The 13th Step.


WHAT Part Does Domestic Violence and Plea deals result in Murders- How AA and the Courts are responsible .

The story of Ariel Castro and Michelle Knight and Amanda Berry filled the TV’s in 2013 when these three women were finally free. I had already been to Cleveland, Ohio to interview a women who was victimized by an AA sexual Predator.  I called the police in Cauyhoga Falls two years ago on Valentines day because of what was being told to me about the crimes against women going on at The Paradise Club and AA club local to this area.

One thing most of us know now is that so many of these violent men have already been in trouble with the law  and evaded going to jail.

Why and how does this happen?

When these guys get arrested, the lawyers go straight to the criminals and tell them they are going to use their drinking to get them off on a plea deal.  They all—– get court ordered to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings- There they are told they are powerless.

Newhall man charged w/ sexually abusing, killing 19-day-old daughter

This is when the story first broke- And this is what just happened——

On October 30, 2015 he was sentenced to 50  years to life in Prison. If we dig deeper we will find that he has been arrested and was released early.  What I know from my research is that if in the stories they talk about addiction —–of any kind….they will have been sentenced to AA. ALL OF THEM ARE SENT TO AA. At first I always had to see it in the reporting but after 6 years investigating —I know—- yet still  a real journalist or newspaper would need to look at his criminal records.

It would be there that we would see the sentencing to AA by a Judge in Santa Clarita, like Eric Allen Earle was court ordered to AA over 55 times —over a 22 year period , instead of going to jail for his crimes. Now don’t get me wrong- I know its politically correct to not send away non violent drug users and dealers.

But- Eric and this MONSTER were not NON Violent men- They were pathological and consistent violent offenders. How can someone rape a 19 day old baby?

And why would a mother and a grandmother talk so Quickly about forgiveness?

………..  May this baby rest in peace.

Newhall man charged w/ sexually abusing, killing 19-day-old daughter

Newhall man charged w/ sexually abusing, killing 19-day-old daughter
A 30-year-old Newhall man has been charged with sexually abusing and killing his 19-day-old daughter.

A Newhall man has been charged with sexually abusing and killing his 19-day-old daughter, the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office announced on Tuesday.

Matthew Brendan Warner, 30, faces one count each of murder, assault on a child causing death, torture, oral copulation or sexual penetration with a child 10 years old or younger and aggravated sexual assault of a child, Deputy District Attorney Julie Kramer said in a news release.

According to the criminal complaint, the murder and sexual assault happened on Friday.

Read the full story here…http://abc7.com/news/newhall-man-charged-w–sexually-abusing-killing-19-day-old-daughter/493383/

Here is another link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2929511/Father-charged-murdering-19-day-old-daughter-dead-pickup-truck-accused-sexually-abusing-her.html

She said Warner was already on probation for drugs charges and was a danger to his daughter.

However, Ms Law-Thomson said she thought her son was clean and sober and hoped that her granddaughter had died as the result of an accident.

After prosecutors added the sexual assault charges, Warner’s bail was increased to more than $2 million. He faces a maximum penalty of life in state prison if convicted of all charges.

Police initially searched the parent’s home before locating the child in the truck. Authorities have not said who owns the vehicle.

Andrew Tatarsky PhD- Gets Interview in Health & Lifestyle – Harm Reduction 30 years of Experience

Great to see more publicity where Andrew Tatarsky gets a nice write up.

Dr. Andrew Tatarsky, PhD, founder and director of the Center for Optimal Living based in New York City, has over 30 years experience in the addiction and mental health field. He tells us why abstinence is not the total solution for problematic behaviors and why we should provide care and proper treatment for patients instead of incarcerating them. Mylene C. Orillo files this report


We all go through life’s difficulties, losses, and challenges, while some people can handle it perfectly well, some turn to alcohol and substance abuse to ease their pain and loneliness and it knows no age and gender.


A 74-year-old man has lost his partner from heart attack a number of years ago. He never remarried but has lost a number of friends to death as well. He retired from a teaching job so there was an accumulation of losses that contributed to his excessive drinking to the point of black out several times a week.


A 19-year-old college student had a very mixed drug use problem with a lot of marijuana, heroin, cocaine, and pills. His drug use had escalated after a staph infection that nearly killed him so he had to leave college. While recuperating, he began using an increasing amount of drugs.


Dr. Andrew Tatarsky, PhD, founder and director of the Center for Optimal Living based in New York City revealed that these are some examples of how their patients cope with loneliness and medical illness.  Read full story here and please share on all blogs and social media and twitter.


The COST of the LEAVING AA blog and more ….

hot  coffee

hot coffee

Hi everyone. Did coffee every look and smell like this at an AA meeting ?

Well its that time of year where I will be paying for my server.  …Yes I have my OWN server to keep up with the millions of hits we get each year. So far we have over 4.8 million.

If you want to contribute we thank you . Mahalo plenty.

….Thank you for any contribution.


The Catholic Church- Alcoholics Anonymous and Sexual Predators- Deviants


I recently saw the new movie “SPOTLIGHT” Starring Mark Ruffalo and Michael Keaton and Rachel McAdams and Liev Schreiber, Staneye Tucci and John Slattery. What a great film. I would give it a 5 star.

Long time coming. Seems this film took a long time to make as well… The Boston Globe exposed The Catholic Church Pedophilia rape scandal in 2002.

Without spoiling it for those who haven’t seen it—- in the summer of 2001, they were ready to run it, ….but then —–9/11 happened….and the news was colored with everything about that. So they waited till the early part of 2002.

As I watched the film I could not help but think about how similar these two institutions are —-AA and The Catholic Church—-

Weird thing is , that AA and pedophiles and sexual predators is a much bigger problem in AA. ……and  —-people get court ordered and forced to go there—–and there is the whole secrecy—anonymity factor—

Journalists are still out there.  I have tried the LA TIMES and the NYT—-Maybe we try any other big Newspaper….or and any other newspaper.


Baby Chance’s Father ( Member of AA ) Kills Baby-

THere is nothing worse then these AA baby murders except the other murders. AA is no where to send a man with a violent past. These stories are increasing and I find it very disturbing. PLease post on all social media and warn, women- and everyone!!!

Baby Chance father’s violent past well known to state officials-

FORT MYERS, Fla. – Before Joseph Walsh was arrested and charged in connection with the death of his infant son, the state Department of Children and Families was well aware of his violent history, having taken multiple children from a previous marriage away from him, a WINK News investigation revealed.

Walsh, 36, and Kristen Bury, 32, are each charged in connection with the death of Chance Walsh, their nine-week-old baby whose remains were found Oct. 15 in a heavily wooded area about 13 miles from their North Port home. Walsh is charged with second-degree murder; Bury faces a homicide negligent manslaughter charge.

Chance, whose funeral was on Sunday, was last seen by relatives on Sept. 9. The couple’s inconsistent versions of what happened to Chance during a vehicle wreck in South Carolina eventually led authorities to the baby’s body.

Walsh’s criminal history started as a teenager when he escaped from a juvenile facility in Okeechobee. By his mid-20s, Walsh was raising seven children with his first wife and becoming well known to law enforcement:

  • He was charged with aggravated assault and battery in 2002. The charges were later dropped.
  • He was charged with attempting to strangle his wife’s friend in 2004. Those charges were also dropped.
  • Walsh became a felon in 2006 after pleading guilty to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Walsh was on drugs when he jumped onto a kitchen counter top, lunged at his mother-in-law and attacked her with a kitchen knife, according to court documents.
  • In 2007, Walsh was charged with assaulting his wife. Those charges were dropped.

In total, Walsh faced 11 charges, including threatening to put his wife in a body bag on three different occasions, according to court records. Nine of those charges were dropped.

Domestic abusers often have their charges dropped because the victim doesn’t show up for court, said Dr. Laura Streyffeler, a Fort Myers therapist who testifies in domestic violence cases.

“They’re afraid of being punished by their partner for going to court and what they would say, putting him or her in jail,” she said.

In a letter to court officials, Walsh’s first wife said she was afraid for her life.

“I am worried that he will just snap one day and hurt me really bad or possibly even kill me,” she wrote.

In domestic violence stories, WINK News often does not name the victim for their safety. For this reason, WINK News has chosen not to name the woman or her mother.

The woman also claimed Walsh told her that “I will beat you so bad I probably won’t get out of jail,” according to court documents.

In a separate letter, the woman’s mother wrote that Walsh beat two of his children, ages 9 and 10, “black and blue” in 2004.

State officials eventually took the children away from the couple.

Chris Kalas, a friend of Walsh’s, described his first marriage as one “fueled by drugs and alcohol.”

“He was a bad father,” he said. “His love became drugs and alcohol and not his family any longer.”

Kalas met Walsh in 2013. Walsh was ordered to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Kalas was his sponsor.

Kalas eventually gave Walsh a job washing and moving cars at a car dealership.

“He was a model employee,” he said. “He never missed work. He was always there. Very polite. He was the type of person that I would not be afraid to have around my family.”

Kalas said that changed when Walsh met Burry.

“I just wish he would have never met Kristen,” he said.

About three weeks after Chance was born, DCF officials received a tip that Bury was using drugs. The department said there wasn’t enough evidence for an investigation because the caller didn’t have first hand knowledge of the drug abuse.

“We failed,” DCF Director Mike Carroll said.Six weeks later, Chance was beaten to death, authorities said.