Rape- Sexual Assault in Alcoholics Anonymous Palm Springs, Santa Monica, CA. LGBT COMMUNITY at risk too.

rape pic I said no

Recently a woman posted on my stop13 step in AA site. She posted the whole story there. I think you need to see as she has a lot of courage. She is a lovely young 40 year old female that I have been speaking with at length, for the past week, as she is trying to make them change. I want you to go easy with her and her story as she was raped only 40 days ago. The day before Thanksgiving in Palm Springs CA> by a 68 year old male about 5’10 inches tall, in great shape with an accent. He is know to ask women and also be on craigslist. He has a boat in th marina and goes back and forth from Santa Monica , the marina and Palm Springs. Please WARN all. She went to the police and he has not been arrested yet.

She also reported that rape & crisis is Cochella valley said rape with the LGBT GAY AA community in Palm Springs is also very very bad. No one going to the police. I will go out there when a trial happens to support her and help any way I can.

Posted a few days ago by Adrianna W.

My Story:
I for one am looking forward to 2015. I’m not sure where the courage has come from for me to write this letter to you, but I feel it is so very important that I share my story and do my part to “talk about RAPE”, my rape in AA.
The day before Thanksgiving 2014, I was raped, 39 days ago. I have been in AA for close to 10 years and have been clean and sober almost 7 years. My program is my safe haven I am filled with deep gratitude for all that has been freely given to me and I give back as much as I can. My rapist is a man AA in my small community of Palm Springs CA and has 28 (!!) years sober. We call people with lots of time the “elders” and they are the ones we look up to and admire and trust. I am 45 years old. He is 69 years old. (I later found out he injects himself with steroids in he’s arms..yuck!) NOT SOBER
I accepted his “friendly, non romantic invitation to a bicycle ride, the day before thanksgiving. I had only met him briefly at an AA BBQ hosted by my previous sponsor, a woman I trust with my life..or did. I asked her if it was safe to give this man my phone number, as he was interested in helping me with my on-line business. I was told he was fine and safe and has 28 years sober. I gave him my number based on that advice.

After the bike ride (his bikes at his house), we returned to his home where we went inside and has some water and he began making a waffle. He then picked me up off his recliner and began rubbing my shoulders claiming they were tense for the ride. He proceeded to walk behind me, “directing” me into his bedroom. I walked slowly, but I went on my own accord, having no idea he would rape me.
Once in his room he immediately began grabbing at my top, pulling and tearing. I said NO. He said, “Something’s gotta come off” and began pulling at my shorts. I kept my legs closed and he then jumped on top of me and while there began trying to pull my breast out from the top of my shirt, putting his mouth all over my breast. I again said “STOP, I don’t want you to do this”. He then tried to get into my shorts by lying on top of me, suffocating me and holding me down, while his hand tried to get in my shorts. I kept him out and that made him upset. I kept saying, NO, STOP” but he was on top of me and I just froze up inside. He then got off me partially and pulled my shorts and panties to one side and painfully shoved his finger inside of me. I began to sob. I was totally numbed out and paralyzed emotionally. He then got off me and performed oral sex on me for about 2 seconds until I loudly with intent, said “NO STOP, Please!” But I didn’t run or kick him or fight for myself. I just froze up and kept my eyes closed. He then had his shorts off and started loudly saying, “look at me! Look at me..Don’t you want to see what you are missing? I was crying and sobbing. He was angry because I wouldn’t look at him. At that point he shoved his penis inside me and it really hurt. I screamed STOP..I guess loudly enough that he took me seriously, but not before he got at least 2 hard thrusts inside me. He then said, “You know what safe sex is? A condom and a good lawyer”. I had no idea what he was talking about. When it was over he was totally unaffected my tears and the entire act. I got up and got dressed, still totally numb, feeling like I was in some weird dream. I sat down and ate half a waffle, not wanting to exhibit fear. He told me not to tell anyone, especially m AA Sponsor.
I left, got into my car and locked the doors began sobbing and called my old sponsor and went right to her house. She is older and almost in her 70’s. She helped me immensely and I believe was giving me her best advice, but it was bad advice. She told me not to tell anyone, not the police, not my current sponsor or anyone else because would be a “he said-She said” and that I would get a bad reputation in our recovery community and the process would be to traumatizing. She also told me that because I was “pretty” that many of the other women would be happy that I was raped. I know this is false, but it hurt to hear that. I was in total shock and it sounded like a good plan to me because I was numb and I was afraid. For, I was not really in my body to make right decisions or to think clearly for myself. Knowing what I know now I would have called the police right then and there, but I was utterly ashamed and terribly confused and totally numb. Total shock.

Here is the link to her post read full story here…http://stop13stepinaa.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/troll-aa-members-trying-to-crack-the-safety-code-what-a-joke/#comment-5083

The new movie “WILD” is not a 12 step story…Thank God and Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern Rock!!!.

Thank you for making this film !!!

I just came back from seeing the film WILD with Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern. WOW what a great film. No steppers bullshit, no rehab, no AA rhetoric hocus pocus nonsense. Just walking the PCT ( Pacific Crest Trail).

Now I have to admit I relate a lot to this film. No I never used heroin. I drank and smoked pot. But I did hitch hike across the country 3 times alone, in the rain the snow and during a summer.

I hiked up a huge mountain ( San Juan mountains) in south western Colorado at age 17 in the summer of 1974.

Crestone Needle is a high mountain summit of the Crestones in the Sangre de Cristo Range of the Rocky Mountains of North America.Wikipedia
  • Elevation:
    • 14,203′ (4,329 m) This is where I hiked. I was with two friends. It was un fucking believably beautiful and it was a hard hike.

Here I am at age 17.


I give this film 5 star rating. GO see it an be prepared to cry, laugh and enjoy a story that has not an inkling of stepper bullshit.

GO see it http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2305051/


and see if you want to walk too. I do. Im going to document it. Im going to walk more!

I Was Gang Raped by (a current AA member), at a U-VA Frat 30 Years Ago, and No One Did Anything

u VA rape pic

” Except when to do so would injure them or others” quote from AA’s 12 steps

He made amends to her in 2005. Thats how she discovered that she was gang raped.

It was the classic 8th and 9th step, that got him put in jail and some justice served. I remember the story on stinkin thinkin years ago.

What a story… by Liz Seccuro

This is what she wrote…

In the same house where Rolling Stone’s Jackie says she was. No one did anything about it until one of my rapists contacted me to apologize.
I was gang-raped at the University of Virginia. I was gang raped at the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house.

We are all left with questions and opinions in the exhausting wake of the now-infamous Rolling Stone article about campus sexual assault, and how victims are treated at the University of Virginia.

This is my story.

In August 1984, I arrived at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, eager to jump into college life. As a sheltered, shy, but ambitious child growing up in suburban Westchester County, New York, my choice struck some as very far away, very “Southern.” Most of my contemporaries from my all-girls high school in Rye, New York, were headed north to Boston or other parts of New England, to so many of the liberal arts colleges in much colder climes. My parents were thrilled with my choice, even though I had never even paid the campus a visit during the application process. I knew I wanted to go to UVA for one major reason: It had the country’s most highly ranked English department, my major of choice.

I had graduated as valedictorian, and as I packed my belongings for the trip the Charlottesville, I was prepared to make my mark at the wonderful institution founded by Thomas Jefferson. But, those hopes were to be dashed about five weeks into my college career. I was 17 years old.

read full story here …


Suicide, Depression, sadness and not feeling your feelings= Alcoholics Anonymous


Today is National Suicide Prevention Day, but I had no idea when I was creating this post yesterday.

There have been 11 people my husband and I knew that were in AA and killed themselves. Even I thought about it briefly when I was 13 stepped and 19 years old, in 1976,  as I drove a friends car over the steep Pali Highway in Honolulu and a gentle rain splashed against the small Toyota Corolla windshield,  to be

” of service” and go to Prison meetings so I could give back to AA…blah blah…blah.

As the years rolled by, I was abstinent,  I worked my steps,  I rang up my sponsors and discussed my problems and I had great therapy. Yet about every 5 years it seems,  I would have a night…maybe 24 hours where I would wonder why was I broken, Why was I in AA and what was wrong with me. I cried of course and called an AA old timer friend to discuss my dilemma.

But it was when I took TM (Transcendental Meditation), taught by George Quant,  in 2008, that I was taught I was not broken…at any level and this had been proven in research.

I may have had some bad days since then, who doesn’t have a bad day, but never again until recently did I feel so blue. But this time was different. It was not because of any AA slogan or rhetoric. It was not that my life sucked or anything, but in fact it was how huge AA and its rhetoric has gotten into everywhere in America and our culture and government. Never mind the rapes, murders, scamming, assaults, the mind fuck, etc.

SO one day last week when I saw one more depressing article about how AA was infested in the FAA and Pilots and Doctors and so and so….

I said to my husband. …..” you know …..Its just too big”  They …AA …and its members have gotten into positions of power and …it ‘s just too big a fight for me to take on alone. Yea I know the film will make difference…Yea I know CBS 48 Hours piece will make a difference….Yea , ONE LITTLE PILL,  Claudia’s Christian’s film will help make a difference,  but I think its too big ….its everywhere…or is it? There are 350 million americans. there are 800,000 AA members in America is that many, so why does it feel like they have taken over everywhere?

We talked about Gasland and how Josh Fox has taken on Natural Gas and Fracking.

We talked about how Food Inc, opened our eyes to Monsanto.

All I can say is in that moment of great sadness I felt depressed for about a day.  It passed. I didn’t get drunk, I didn’t go to an AA meeting and I am continuing to finish the film.

I walked my dog, went for a swim and out to dinner with my husband to a new and fun place.

But we do need to come together as a community, both professional and all of us here to help fight the lies , even long after all these media pieces are out. I do think their will be a string of lawsuits. Both at AA, the AA board and the FAA and The airlines and companies that are forcing the AA garbage on their pilots. Not to mention the Doctors suing god knows who….for the same thing.

Then I see two other class action lawsuits against AA. One for sexual harassing types of offenses and the other at Gross negligence and Fraud on their part. One must sue all th eBoard members listing them by name and look in the 12 concepts , for in their lies the legal piece that makes them liable for the  “whole fellowship at large”.

“Keep coming back…it works if you work it?”

Really….if that were true there would be 50 million people in AA. I will find the quote from The AA Service Manuel and place it here for you to see.

                                                In Loving Memory of All those who died on 9/11

Robin Williams, beloved actor, dead at 63! Hazeldon an AA rehab failed him miserably!

robinwilliams pic

First off let me say…we loved you Robin and we are so sorry you had to leave this way. Im sorry you were brainwashed by AA as well. I’m sorry for your family and close friends. Such a tragedy. I was such a fan. I loved your work.

Robin, did you know other options even existed? DID you try any?

Did those steppers tell you not to take medication for your depression?  Were you told in AA that you were broken? That you had a spiritual sickness too? What lies they tell in AA culture.

Well now you are in Heaven and now you know the lies you were told in AA and in that shitty rehab that steals money from many families and coerces Pilots to go there and charges them huge amounts of money.

Another rehab failed a wonderful person. RIP Robin…:( so sad…so sad …

Suing Alcoholics Anonymous, your “EAP” employer, 12 step rehabs and your Insurance Company that pays for a religious 1930’s never updated peer support groups. No Mental Heath and NO real Health Care provided there ma, so whats the deal? What can you do?

Is AA like a wind up  phone circa 1930’s…oldphone1930

and Smart Recovery is like an IPHONE.


Why in America are we so stuck back then, when it  comes to addiction, alcoholic overuse and dependency? At first I thought AA just grew as a grassroots organization. I thought that because the readings at AA meetings and the folklore that is perpetuated in meetings, makes one think that. Our TV  shows like “MOM”momtv show pic

and FILMS like “FLIGHT”

flightpicwith Denzel Washington   promotes it all flagrantly like its sweet cookies and milk support group that is run by professionals  and  secular, which we all know is not true! …

so hear is the thread you have requested….:)

Hi.  Have you been coerced or bullied into AA? Are you a Doctordrsmokingpic

or a pilot? AA was formulated when cigarettes were promoted as being good for us as we see here in this ad. Well, is AA still good for the masses? Never updated, never researched  or never vetted? For 75 years…

pilots pic

I have just come back from interviewing a Pilot and a Doctor.  I was so shocked I had a hard time watching the footage when I got home. I got up from my desk, went downstairs and told my husband it was too depressing…I could not handle it …how sad he is…. Thank God my editor is more detached! LOL Thanks … Barry RUBINOW.

The coercion within the FAA and pilots is so fucked up that it broke my heart. This pilot /doctor was so sad that I have no words for what I felt from him. We could not film him in the light and we will have to pitch his voice for fear that he will be so retaliated upon and loss his license.

Things are very bad when the FAA is sending you to an AA psychiatrist who is called a something …blah blah medical Sponsor with some silly other word preceding it. They charge $1,500. for one session. There are only 2 of them in Northern Cali. They force the pilots to go to an expensive $40,000 bullshit rehab called HAZELTON !!!!!!! filled with stepper shit….OMFG!

I want you to know this….You are not alone. There is an attorney who can help you. Please contact me for now and we  will begin to see how to handle all the emails.  makeaasafer@gmail.com

Gabrielle Glaser writes about Moderation in March 2014 Readers Digest Magazine

Here is the lasted article by journalist Gabrielle Glaser expelling the theory that AA is the only game in town which  we all now know is not true. Thank you Gabrielle!



How Long were you in? How long are you gone? How did you deprogram? I now understand why people blow their brains out… because of the brainwashing!


Have you ever found yourself walking your dog, taking a shower, or driving your car and somehow having a conversation in your head with what a stepper will say to you? I have.  So how long will it take till it stops? I know that I am making a film about it  so maybe for me its different, but something tells me …maybe not. Maybe we all go through this.

The other day I thought to myself as I was thinking about this.  WOW this is what someone is thinking when they finally blow their brains out. When will this stop.

I think it has partly to do with the way the 3 pieces of literature are read at every meeting and they are read in a very hypnotic way. The brainwashing is deep.

I am curious as to what some of you think regarding this. I am also interested in hearing about how long you went, how long you have been gone and what helped you most to get this crap out of your head!!!

In regards to time… .include the years you were there even if you drank. It all matters in this survey. Example . You attended AA for a total of 11 years. But you drank 3 or 4 times over those years. Just say you are in it 11 years for the purpose of my survey.

If you want to include how many people you knew who killed themselves too. I knew 5.

I recently attended a huge AA GS event. There were things said in a late night roundtable that made me see how its dying internally. I mean really dying inside. There were some nice sane folks there. Yes they believe stuff  I no longer believe, but the sane ones think that many things need to change. So why are they still there and we are free? I don’t know.

First off I was there to give out more safety pamphlets for the last time. You might say, why bother, why try to make it safe. Let them rot in their sexually predatory mud pit . But what I do know is that the safety pamphlets empower people and when they try to go back to there groups and make it safe and they get ostrixiced. They leave….So its really my last act of going inside because I know this is what took me out and I am so friggen happy about the fact I now see AA for what it is and that I left.

And to talk to certain ex trustees about safety. Many people came up to me wanting the literature and telling me stories about problems all over the Pacific Region. I did speak my mind there about court ordering of violent offenders and sex offenders. This event  constitutes 15 regions and 9 states. A speaker from the podium in front of 500 members or more who was a trustee talked about women getting raped in huge numbers by AA men. It was kickass how she talked. They all respect her.

But here is what I heard and saw there… This is no new young blood at the GS events.  Even the good nice members think AA needs to change, deal with the fact it’s so religious  and change that  and deal with safety. But you and I  know that AA in NY is too stubborn, rigged and arrogant and Fat with money and power. So that makes people lazy. It makes them lazy.

Its true …they mostly talk about promoting their agenda and   how to get new recruits. I felt so happy and “grateful” that I am free. I didn’t feel connected and I felt like an outsider in a really great way. btw we never held hands and said the Lords Prayer. I stayed apart. They noticed. God it felt good to not pray with them!!!

I was in from 1975- 2011. There were 10 years when I first had children that  I went very infrequent, thank goodness.  I was abstinent 37 years. I am normal now. They lied. My “disease ” was not doing pushups in the parking lot. What a stupid saying ….

I am free now.

It took me about 14 months to deprogram enough to know all the lies and to be free of the Bullshit. It took me a year to stop crying about wasting 36 years  in AA . I cried too many times for harming my children with AA bullshit and lies.

What did I do to deprogram?

I read the OP ..there was no forum then …Thank GOD! They would have ate me alive.

I blogged on Stinkin thinkin nightly while watching old episodes of Law & Order SVU and Criminal Minds.

I read new books by Stanton Peele

I went to Smart & SOS meetings here and there. I realized I was tired of meetings.

I blogged and and I answered calls form all over the country by women and men  who had been harmed.

I love you all today. I know I don’t know you all. But those of you I know.. I love you guys and gals for all your support and sh*t you gave me as I left. :)))))) …I think I just love bombed!

If you are still concerned how big AA is I suggest you to go an old big meeting and see how big it still is. You might be surprised. Oh and I don’t label myself either.

Dont go alone. Bring a normal friend for support. I have done this only because of my work and my film in different states and AA is shrinking.

Stanton Peele told me that the numbers have gone from:

1.2 million to 800k in the US and CANADA in the last few years.


IS AA religious or is it spiritual? Is it white or is it SNOWFLAKE?


I just did a show about this. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/saferecovery/2014/03/05/is-aa-religious-or-spiritual-is-it-white-or-snowflake In preparation for my film I had all the references to GOD, HP , higher power crapola pulled out. We found there were some almost 600 references to God in the first 164 pages.

I am making a film about AA and 12 step coercion and if you would like to donate to the film please consider the Tax deductable donation. Many have been forced to AA or NA  against your first amendment rights. Please click on the links below.


Or you can donate to the IDA and use paypal as well…http://www.documentary.org/community/sponsorship/donate?film_id=4112

There are also a lot of MUSTS! For a take it or leave it program there are many many musts.

I am convinced AA is a suedo,  religious,  and very cult like for sure. If you leave they ostracize you. If you question its tenets, they ostracize you. If you try to make it safe…they tell you its an outside issue. But we can think for ourselves and use our minds and not be brainwashed.

lightbulb pic

I think they are crazy! Please listen to the show and I will do a few more so we can laugh and not cry our way through this process. Some times its hard. 🙁

There are 7 free non religious options. Smart Recovery, SOS, Moderation.org , LIfeRING, Hams Harm Reduction, The Sinclair Method and Recover! The PERFECT PROGRAM> by Stanton Peele and Ilse Thompson.