New and Grateful

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    Hi everyone. I cannot tell you how grateful I was to “stumble”, pardon the pun, across this site. I have been contemplating leaving AA for quite some time now, and have been enjoying , without guilt , drinking in moderation for a short time. It is absolutely terrifying to drink when the AA voices in your head are still shrieking at you in that shrill manner that surely you will die. Much like I have read on other posts here, when I came into the program about 12 years ago I was in a terrible terrible place in my life and used alcohol among other things to cope and hide my feelings. I am grateful for the clarity and self awareness I gleaned from my time in and out of AA over the past decade plus, but I am so done with the guilt & shame dogma and the superior attitudes of “the winners”. (re: people who have never slipped). I have met some amazing people in the rooms and hope to continue relationships with some but will completely understand if they chose not to. Thank you to everyone who shares their stories here, I am feeling less alone reading them………..:)



    Hey Happy,
    The word “Alcoholic” is a misnomer and a complete farce. I know that in the sense that we as human beings are much more complex than the simple basic ideas of AA that you are born with a disease. A complete and total farce but medical professionals go with the AA methodology because occasionally the idea of “I have a disease and complete surrender” works for a few people.

    The bottom line(and I’ve been around AA for +25 years) is that nearly every self proclaimed alcoholic SUFFERS FROM EITHER OR BOTH SEVERE DEPRESSION AND OR CHRONIC LOW SELF ESTEEM. I’ve heard their stories over and over and over and over,,,,,,,,,,,, and it always comes down to that. When I first went to AA I could never figure out why so many people had such a hard time with a quote, unquote, A HIGHER POWER! Now I was raised(in my opinion) by a mother who understood and got it. In other words she taught me about spirituality but also that organized religion does not equal spirituality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I think for most “AA Super Big Book Thumper’s” they honestly have no clue about themselves or reality!
    Reality is people in general are scared and live in fear so every action they take are in their minds “the right thing to do to keep them safe”! In other words every human being on this planet is simply just trying to survive the best they can.
    When you really understand that every human being is primarily afraid and trying to survive the best they can, then reality opens up and you as a individual can start to have compassion for all those around you. When that occurs you start to realize and understand the meaning of helping others. At the end of the day it has nothing to do with alcohol as much as it has to do with you not understanding life!
    Alcohol is just a vehicle to mask reality. Alcohol is a mind altering drug that used over time can become addictive. People are not born with any kind of “”””Disease””””, they simply learn to escape reality through drinking, it’s completely NO DIFFERENT THAN DRUG ABUSERS!
    Funny how the “Old Timers” didn’t want “Drug Abusers” in their meetings, lol! They were drug abusers themselves,,,LOL!!!!

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