I need a Break! Im tired! TGIF…and I am no longer in AA!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! opps did I say that?

Yup..I just wrote that. Cause I am so tired….This is what I need. Β Then I need some of this… then I might need some of this… and some of this…A nice dinner out with my husband. A glass of wine. Some live music. I love love being gone from AA. Gone from the thinking, Gone from the nonsense. Gone from sitting in those stupid ass meetings. Β I hope you all have a nice weekend. Away from your computers, away from AA, away from the blogs and are living your lives and having fun with friends, family and people you love and like. Not having to put up with sitting in rooms with nuts and mentally ill people we do not know etc.Β romantic dinner cartoonwine glassesspacandlespic

spa lady pic

Be Sociable, Share!

40 thoughts on “I need a Break! Im tired! TGIF…and I am no longer in AA!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! opps did I say that?

  1. My friend and I are going salsa dancing tonite. “A little shake, a little tingle” is in my bones. There is so much more to life than constantly beating the worry drum.
    Have fun with your hubby Ms. Massive. You deserve it!

    • Massive enjoy your break

      Last night I took my nephews and nieces to see the Thriller Live stage show that’s on tour from London, my nephew is a die hard Michael Jackson fan so we boogied in the aisles ….

      Tonight I’m going to see Othello with a friend and we are meeting for Sushi and noodles first.

      Tomorrow I’m messing around with my horses ….

      All in all a good weekend, and not a dreary dull depressing meeting in sight, normally I’d do three meetings over a weekend which – added to travelling time and the whole chat before and after – cut my weekend in half.

      Your weekend sounds amazing!

      Oh and I’ve discovered meetup.com which is a website which allows you to search for groups near where you live, so I’m having a good look at what’s available, I think I’m going to join a singles fine dining club and a local dog walkers club. Added to my riding lessons, creative writing group, yoga classes, volunteering at a youth club and my animals it’s a wonder I ever had time to go to AA!

      Have fun,


      • Girlscout- Sounds like a lot of fun. πŸ™‚ I would really like to take dance lessons with my hubby.

        You sound like a busy lady !!! A fine dining meet up …sounds…interesting. …

  2. Hello Massive,

    I can certainly understand why you are burnt out and need to spend time alone and with your family.

    I am the same. In the last year and a half while all this has been going on, my husband passed away, I sold my house, moved cities, kid went to university, had my own health scare, my cat died etc…. And now I am going to school, condo hunting, hanging out with cousins, going to plays… etc.. but it has been hard to transition from things that have been very stressful to things that are not so stressful. It’s been a long year and a half. I also been to Meetup.com and use it for my interest in Arts and Culture ’cause sometimes looking at are and listening to unfamiliar music is just wonderful.

    I have also begun taking an ‘internet vacation’ for a little while. I think the Fortress of Truth that we have built is fortified enough that it is ok for us to rest. We all deserve it. πŸ™‚

  3. Yea I agree with the internet vacation. I like that Idea.

    Although I can’t stop quite yet working on a computer , I do not have to blog as much if I want . I do have to work on both as we build out a New Leaving AA site. I have to migrate my site over to a bigger server. But yes I can take breaks which I do need.

    I know you lost your sweet husband and that has to be hard to not have him around anymore…Sorry for your loses…:(

  4. I’m going to rebuild my site as well as it has been around for a year and I want a more flexible design.
    I’m seeing a few concerts this week as it is London Jazz festival, off to see Bill Frisell in a minute.

  5. So glad to hear you are taking time for yourself and finding time to relax my beautiful friend ! I hope you and your family enjoy a beautiful weekend! …can’t wait to come visit you again and enjoy a nice glass of wine or two over our wonderful little chat times! … These GI cocktails are getting old , but when I have to have them after a treatment , I picture one of our beautiful moments together and I SMILE!
    Love , Me

  6. Ahhhh the ‘internet vacation’ has been going nicely. No intense arguments with crazed individuals who need to be locked up. No hunting for quotes this week…. just being me. It feels good.

    So what am I doing with all of you? Condo hunting. Wish me luck. πŸ™‚


  7. Hey!

    I am glad you are taking a break fearless woman Monica. πŸ™‚

    After posting my Public Service Announcement on http://www.boaf.org (AA for Airline Pilots), I was summarily sanctioned, accused of inappropriate posting, and banned from the alcoholic aviation inter-web.

    Once you go down that path, there is no turning back. Put another pellet in the stove Massive. You are doing the work of the God of my understanding.

    Enjoy your break and thank you.

    We need you.


    • Hi Samson. In what way were you sanctioned? Did you get any response before I assume they removed it? So sorry you are going through all of this. In the long run I believe you have the law on your side.

      • The AA ecosystem is like a parallel universe. No one else’s rules apply, just theirs – because they are right and righteous. It works you see – regardless of the solid evidence to the contrary – and any detractors are uninformed or in denial or need a good dose of social exclusion and punishment so they will shut up, go away, or get with the parallel universe program. It is mind boggling how they get away with their bullshit and if there really is truth and justice, they are going to get a full dose at some point in the future. If there is no truth or justice, it will only get worse and that real possibility saddens me deeply.

  8. SAMSON_ OMG –you are kidding ? NO ? Your stories need to be told Nationwide. Its nuts what they are doing to pilots and Doctors !!!!

    Thank you back ! πŸ™‚

  9. Hello Everyone,

    As you know I have been burnt out and feel I can’t keep up this pace forever. I want to go ‘Legit’ and have contacted an organization to see if they can help. I met with the Director today. It was a really good first meeting. Prior to our meeting she contacted women’s organizations within our city and informally asked them if what I was saying was true. They have all confirmed it.

    After our meeting, she is going to re-contact them again and ask if they would like to be part of an informal ‘Round Table’ in mid-February. This meeting will basically be a sharing of experiences and ideas. The Director thought the first goal would be to determine short and long-term strategies for making recovery safer.

    She stated that she, along with all the other organizations would not want to do something which would alienate themselves in the community.

    In my own words… basically, nobody really wants to be part of a Greenpeace style of organization because you really do end up in the middle of the ocean all by yourself – looking crazy, without a job and ultimately not getting a lot done.

    She is also clear that she does not have the resources to be nationwide.

    It’s a great start. Who knows…. maybe we can develop a strategy/model that can be copied in other cities? The internet has been great for raising awareness, but not so much for effecting change.

    Personally – I’m after the CHANGE portion. πŸ™‚

    Well…. that’s all for now. Librarian.

  10. Thanks for your all of your incredible efforts. I think a lot can be learned from an organization that knows what is acceptable and also knows other agencies that should be concerned as well.

    I hear what you are saying about the Greenpeace analogy. Yet it is not our fault that AA has zero safety guidelines and invite minors and violent felons to the same meetings. It is not our fault AA has no avenue to complain and correct problems within the organizations. It is not our fault women and others are mandated to AA with no choice of a secular option most of the time.

    It will be interesting to see how this organization reacts if it hits a brick wall how they will feel then. Will not upsetting the apple cart be the priority, or safety in the rooms for women?

    This is a great step in the right direction and a very smart move on your part. Thanks!

  11. Anti, You are completely correct that we have had to speak out and loudly. I for one have been very vocal and am proud of it. Our words have helped raise awareness to the point that organizations are also starting to look at the situation. πŸ™‚

  12. Librarian- This is fantastic. I wish I could be there showing my film . I know you are far away from me.

    I am really glad you are moving forward in this way. I hope to do this with the National Association for Violence Against Women and with Judges in all our courts in Los Angeles. Maybe you and I can talk after Thanksgiving or on Skype so I can hear how you approached them.

    I agree. Th internet is fantastic but we need to get into the offices where people are being sent to AA and NA in droves. Even the young lady I go to to get waxing for my legs thought AA was a great safe support group. She is an atheist and had no idea how religious AA is.

  13. I AM ON A MISSION to report any sponsor that advises his/her sponsee to discontinue taking the medication they are prescribed by a licensed board certified physician. I believe this is a potentially DEADLY practice and ubiquitous in the NON SCIENTIFIC la la land of AA. This is practicing medicine without a license and is punishable by law. Please respond to this thread if this if you or anyone you know has experienced this and I will go out of my way to file the appropriate charges. I am exhausted with the AA dogma, tired of speaker meetings where people babble about their husbands health problems and the car they totaled in 1978. I thought it was experience, strength and hope then sit the F down. I am done! One year abstinent and just happened upon this site, my apologies for posting here as I have no clue how to chime in on a thread. For the thumpers and anyone who still practices the 12 idiotic steps. Ask you self this… I have been sneezing all day…damn allergies. Should I keep sneezing and suffer, call my sponsor, go to a meeting, pray for it to stop? or simply take an antihistamine? Science tells us the logical answer. Let science and evidence based medicine (not some imaginary entity or bearded man in the sky) move us into a true solution.
    Thank you-Fred flweb2@gmail.com

    • This is a worthy mission. It is such a big issue in AA, that the almighty powers of AAWS decided they should create a pamphlet on it. And we all know the almighty AAWS only creates warning pamphlets when things are really bad and could be damaging to the cult. They create recruiting pamphlets for new demographics with ease. I am still waiting for the ” AA for owners of recently deceased pets”, or ” AA for Facebook users”. They have no problems with recruiting, but they have serious problems with protecting their flock – why does that sound familiar?

      • I personally think the pamphlets have no value what so ever because it is up to the groups to carry what ever pamphlets they want. Most don’t carry that pamphlet and newcomers are told to ‘stick close to your sponsor and talk to them if you have a question’. This means newcomers are at the mercy of the OPINION of that person. And lord knows…. sponsors have opinions.

        • I wonder what kind of advice Eric Allen Earle gave his sponsees ?

          It is ludicrous to think that an uneducated street drunk could give medical advice to anyone, simply because he/she is “in AA”. .

          Many people in AA somehow think they have some sort of conveyed credentials for medical opinions because they “belong” to a faith-healing religious organization. Why do they think that? Because they can. Nobody stops them.

            • Highly probable. There is that sticky problem of the “sponsor” denying that was their role. Sound familiar?

              There is no paperwork, no official document assigning said person as a “sponsor” and AA’s lie all the time in their honest program, so it’s gonna be hard to nail down one of those worms especially if the person harmed is dead. There are tons of families out there that could sue for wrongful death, but the sponsor can just say they weren’t the sponsor.

              Here you have an organization that is an extension of the justice system, HR departments, the FAA and many other organizations and not a single piece of official paperwork exists documenting the actual requirement of having an AA sponsor. People’s careers and sometimes lives hang in the balance over what? An urban myth of sponsorship? I recall there is actually nothing in the Big Book about sponsorship. So, legally, where does the “requirement” for sponsorship originate and how enforceable is it if it isn’t in the AA bible? It’s a clusterfuck of epic proportion and people’s lives and careers are at stake.

              The big question is, why don’t the authorities know how messed up the entire AA ecosystem has become? I think its because they simply don’t care. Drunks and druggies just need to stop or go away and diving deeply into the proposed solution just isn’t worth the time. For politicians, its about votes. For big business its about money. For those who really want justice here, its an uphill battle because we don’t represent votes or money. Yet.

    • I was told by a Sponsor that I could not realize God’s Will if I were on anti-depressant medication. This was back in the 90’s. I refused to stop taking it and the sponsor fired me (big loss there, huh?) and went and told everyone at my Home Group that my sobriety date needed to be changed since I was taking drugs “Against the wishes of my higher power.” Most of the Steppers at my Home Group agreed with him and this (sort of) is when I started to question AA. Those meds were prescribed by me by a doctor – not some AA brainwashed hack. No one should have the right to tell me I can’t take them…..or go around and tell others that I am on anti-depressant meds. Where’s the anonymity in that? What is good looking back at this situation is that I didn’t knuckle under and kept taking the meds regardless.

      • Rob

        Agreed, AA does have written guidelines on how members should not play doctor but nobody takes any notice, and it’s very dangerous. Personally I am equally leery of psychiatry and the tendency of doctors to park people on antidepressant / psychiatric medication without really exploring whether there are other physical or emotional factors that need support that would relieve low mood (for e.g. I have thyroid problems and was told for years and years that it was all in my head and all I was offered were pills, many people with my illness get wrongly diagnosed as bipolar and lithium – a mainstay bipolar drug – further wrecks thyroid function for e.g.). But antidepressants have their place and can be very effective for people who are going through a difficult period and it is certainly NOT the place of someone in AA to say that someone should or should not take them. But I’ve learnt the hard way that doctors also can, and frequently do, get it wrong also.

        It seems to me that drugs are just one tool in the tool box, and some people need them short term, some long term and it’s a very personal, not one size fits all thing. I’d encourage anyone whose doctor’s ONLY remedy is pills to maybe look into getting some therapy or taking up exercise or really working on good self care (for e.g someone might need to get out of an abusive relationship or leave a crappy job or sort out their nutrition) but one of the things that caused me to leave AA was this sort of sanctimonious preaching that AAs like to do.

        And to presume that they know ANYTHING about your relationship with God is just plain rude as well as incredibly arrogant … that’s nobody’s business but yours (assuming you have a faith …)


    • Hi Massive- Went to my first SMART recovery meeting tonight- yee haw, real science based recovery. I highly suggest going to one!

  14. I relucantly let a stepper join in in a road trip 2 days ago, I kicked him out last night as he was complaining all the time about everybody & everything, I then found out he was back-stabbing me also to a stranger. The negativity of these people is unreal. He has almost 21 years in AA and he is so bitter & twisted & angry. But he works his Program.

    • I moved to Oregon with a stepper once. Back when I was trying to fit my square peg into AA’s round hole. We split expenses for gas and food and campground stays and parted ways once we arrived in Portland. It was a crazy experience – this Stepper was constantly saying she was carrying out God’s Will. She’d pull over in the middle of nowhere to do meditations to be one with God’s will…..and then she’d proceed to tell me what God’s will was. After that she’d gossip about people in her last home group and say horrible things about the people in Flagstaff AA who “were not spiritual and not working a good program.” I cringe to think that I spent several days in a car driving north to Portland. OR with this lunatic and that back then I just looked away at such behavior and thought it was somewhat sane and “spiritual.” Today – this happened when I was 24 and I’m 48 now so this was half my life ago – I’d never be in the same car with a Stepper. I just couldn’t deal with the BS they’d spew if they were “working a good program.” Just couldn’t listen to it and act like it was OK. Dare I see this as growth on my part LOL?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *