Twelve Steps to Danger: How Alcoholics Anonymous Can Be a Playground for Violence-Prone Members

Important Article by Gabrielle Glaser about Twelve Steps to Danger: How Alcoholics Anonymous Can Be a Playground for Violence-Prone Members

Be Sociable, Share!

14 thoughts on “Twelve Steps to Danger: How Alcoholics Anonymous Can Be a Playground for Violence-Prone Members

  1. Yes, I was subjected to fist swinging violence based on lies 3 times in 15 years, and zero times in the 20 years since I left 12 step “fellowships”. Violence in NA/AA was worst than active Substance Abusers on the street. There was a 90 day transitional 3/4 house rehab that pumped 30 criminals per month into 12 step meetings. They injected a covert jail house mentality as seen on TV prison documentaries. Fighting to settle disagreements was actually encouraged by sponsors who were roofers and bikers and ex-criminals themselves. Getting set up for violence by unsubstantiated accusations from sick people taking out their crap sideways was inescapable. If you mentioned that someone was abusive let alone expressed upset feelings about it, the rehab newcomer gangs all rallied around their friend – like jail birds protecting each other.

    The program was supposedly based on 1st century Christianity but in real life it’s fundamentalism results in a totally crazy abusive victim blaming, that you most love your enemies. They twist recovery slogans to make wrong seem right, and over the years drive you Alanon crazy.

    But They don’t even have to twist the program words. The 12 step psychology does not respect ANY complaints or grievances. There is no such thing as justifiable anger which your “self centered ego” brought on yourself by not following God, according to Bill Wilson psychedelic elation revelations in detox resulting from belladonna which he did not understand but were the founding Epiphanies of his AA program written afterwards.

    According to Bill’s psychedelic AA Epiphany – being disturbed or having complaints is against the universal spiritual principle of forgiveness. But Bill’s wide eyed amateur psychology ends up being a total unethical cop out for abusers to get away with abusing especially the psychopaths who feel good about abuse, which is an acceptable emotion, but meanwhile the upset victim is mocked for being miserable and spiritually wrong if he is upset about anything.

    AA actually destroys spiritual relationships with a HP if you claim there is anything to be upset about. AA says you aren’t unconditionally loving if you get upset about abuse and abusers who are your fellow 12 step brothers and sisters who you must show love because they are sick and need you to help them when they abused you. Obviously this is endlessly abusive simpleminded psychology made up by a false unethical guru.

    The program is in every respect, an unsupervised open psyche ward that is forever manipulated by gossip and false accusations that easily undermines any moral leadership or even coherent mental health oversight. And whenever you are disturbed about any of this abuse, you are invariably at fault. It’s not just the people, It’s the program, which was written by a mentally disturbed amateur.

    Ultimately, It’s not ok for professional or the public at large to claim ignorance or naivete and continue to promote AA, by saying AA abuse did not effect you or supposedly worked for the rare few, AA obviously fails and abuses 20 xs as many millions than the very few strident and blind adherents who never even tolerate warnings that AA is obviously blatantly abusive.

    It begs the question, what will it take? for professionals and the public at large? to change this abusive hell bound AA juggernaut!

  2. I was severely beaten by a 6’2″ 210 male who had relapsed and was being very angry sharing directly at me saying that I was responsible for his relapse because the meeting cards were not up to date. As a result of him sharing directly at me with such intense emotion I was emotionally effected and spontaneously told him to look at himself why don’t you do something and fix the cards, instead of blaming me.I walked out of the meeting believinmg a fight would ensue if i didn’t but he followed me down the hall and jumped me from behind landing on top on me and beat me hard with fists at least 30 times in the back and side of my head and neck as i tried to cover up not able to defend against his psychopathic rage that i did not posses or believe appropriate for an argument. He had lost his job and wife and kids and took all his suffering out on me sideways. Later he asked to be forgiven and I did this to stop ongoing problem and appease the situation, not knowing better. As years went by I felt i disrespected myself for not seeking due process and civil damages – true reparations.


    The second violence was due to a male using his child as a weapon in a domestic abuse situation. I told his wife he wanted his son’s diapers changed more and ge accused ne of betraying his friendship. a few eeks later she told me he said he didn’t want me around his child whom he knew had made a strong attachment to me and he did not make his son stay away from me at meetings etc I concluded without thinking much about it, that his statement was just sideways anger and I also allowed the child innocent interactions with me.

    He had been bad mouthing me at meetings for a few weeks, and then a female amidst his gang suddenly accused me of pressuring her to have sex; which never happened. I believe it was to get attention or an excuse to blame me for her relapsing which her ex boyfriend just used an an excuse to relapse. I also know her 13th step accusation was used by a gang of people who wanted to defame and defrock me because I criticized strict zealotry in the program. Another long story. But They were so nuts they’d get angry at me for saying anger was a healthy emotion. Then they’d try to put their hands on me inappropriately and provoke me to fight and justifying choking me to stop explaining to other people how all of this was them being abusive. [the 3rd case of violence] So they had their crazy reasons for hating me, which they never explained to others with the details that convicted them self of course. I am still baffled at how insane some members were and still are.

    But I digress, I did not pressure or seek out this female who made the accusations. This female had been fawning all over me, she stayed after meetings with me alone and put her legs over top of me while leaning against my shoulder on the church steps, And she asked to come to my house ran her hand down my leg and laid on top me kissing me for two hours. I was wary and played it safe saying I could stop at any time and I never asked for sex in any way no one ever took their clothes off. I believe i should have been giving a award for restraint and when she asked to go and then laid back down spreading her jeans at me It finally dawned that she was actually teasing me trying to tempt me to get impulsive and pull her clothes off or something she could say was inappropriate in response to her now obvious severe teasing. So i took her home and felt good about myself. and wary of her.

    She was 24 with 4 months clean and had dated others with years clean. I was 36yr old with 13 years clean and I believed you should not be told you have to get clean and give up sex for a year at the same time. I literally believe to this day that assuming the program has sexual control over its members is inappropriate and can drive people away from getting clean. especially since they are ashamed to talk about their problems because pompous prudes tell them they should not have a sex drive and sex problems when in my opinion its totally obviously normal.

    Of course pressuring or looking for a weak person is wrong.

    So when I heard the accusations i went to a semi remote morning meeting and expressed some pent up anger especially seeing all the deliberate conniving involved by many people. Unbeknownst to me, people from the rehab flipped out and started a hysteria because they are all brainwashed that there is no justifiable anger and we all unconditional love each other. yah hoo!

    Then he attacked swinging fists in my car window at me as I pulled in the parking lot saying I was “fucking with newcomers” for getting angry at the meeting that she never even attended. I replied you mean like you did the mother of your child who was in rehab when he got involved with her. The hypocrisy was insane. No mention was made about staying away from his son but when I protested his conspiracy with the 13th step accusations he lied and said it was all about the child. Nothing about the girl.

    He repeatedly attacked me for over a year when no one was looking and a slipped away most times but he got me once in public and i pressed charges and won. but the competing leaders of rival ego gangs spread zealot homilies that i was not forgiving and i should not have pressed charges. even after the charges were pressed he continued it was scary.

    I went to area and ask that he be removed from his group service rep position. but they were all fresh out of rehab brainwashing or part of the program sex zealots or roofers or bikers or toxic heros or enablers and so they said they were tired of hearing about it and did noting to provide consequences for violence – their hands were clean – i was dirty because i was too angry after a year of violence –
    nevermind the group defaming insanity.

    very dysfunctional. it actually felt evil. but that’s another story.

    i had personally first hand heard all the main actors and several area service members at that time – state they had made the faustian bargain. no problems! why not stick around? that’s some good sooooobriiiiiiiiiiety.

    no shit
    lucky to have lived
    i feel i’ve been through the 9 circles of hell

  3. most those people get off on violence its an orgasm for them they laugh and joke about it like psycopaths but then i watch tv and feel sick and people wonder how we can kill a million arabs for no wmds or 500,000 iraqi babies who were denied milk during sanctions looking for no wmds

    the whole world has made a Faustian bargain with the violence devil and doesn’t seem conscious of a thing –

    no wonder society doesn’t care about aa abuse
    their all already too far gone

    • Oh heck Yes I left 20 years ago. It was on the east coast i might as well say york, pa because this story is too crazy to be hidden amongst the common horror tales. anyhow back then no one and i mean NO ONE would criticize aa or na or hear complaints about any of the [un]holy 12 step programs. not even when i went to bradshaw’s codepency treatment center in los angeles when tried to seek treatment for myself in 93 when i left. bradshaw never confronted aa. professional enablers are everywhere its amazing how aa controls everyone without raising a finger via social dissonance. anyhow I met a woman at that time who was leaving one of those christian mega church cults. so we empathized and understood and supported each other, im an agnostic or a deist or ?somethingelse? I fluctuate. like the universe. but it was no coincidence we connected. then i went back to college at 36 and got a second degree in engineering. that kept my mind distracted. but it still almost drove me crazy trying to get the brainwashing cult PTSD out of my head for years. It still triggers me. Telling these horror tales here where they are respected helps make it feel like there is some reckoning and that allows some satisfaction. I’m glad you helped raise common understanding how decent people get stuck and abused in 12 step programs. because it was all just suggested right? i thought my alternate recovery was welcome. nope, they damn near crucified me, that was the reason they needed to tear me down, politics. i was a heretic i embarrassed and disrespected them in their zealot minds, by promoting emotional therapy. they said i never talked about god. they of course were god right hand. pthh! the rehab manager hated me too for revealing his sloganeering mind control emotional repression horse shit. i asked about civil suits back in the 90s but the lawyers said there was no money with the individuals and the rehab had that all to common aa double talk deniability. thanks for all you do. seems like nothing will happen. but then suddenly it will. keep the faith! ha. sorry for the spelling i can’t edit in this little box, no problem. ha. enjoy the streaming consciousness.

  4. my ex’s ex-husband was high up in the mega church and they were disgusted with all the crazy shit that went on with the religious nuts at the top when they lie and rationalize and cover it all up all their kinky weirdo shit instead of being human. she had a saying “the higher the monkey goes up the tree – the more of his ass you get to see.”

    same with steppers they get all drunk on religion believing they are a miracle and all god crazy and acting pompous and self righteous and like they know it all and you can only get recovery the way they did through their guidance and you thank them at every meeting for helping you sooo much gheeez! then they go off the crazy cliff acting like mentally disturbed holy rollers. i walked into a meeting 5 years ago just to see how the crazy was doing? immediately they starting posing claiming they were miracles and aligning themself with god and obviously it was aimed at me. then they proclaimed some other guy who blew into town after na was started is now the founder of york na. even though i had found another druggy person and we had needed a druggy meeting and been the one’s who opened and been at the first meetings after aa rejected drug addicts in the early 80s. i never went around saying i started na in york because that seemed like a insult to the others who were at the first meetings with me. it took alot of people to establish a solid ongoing support group that faltered for the first few years. i got 2 months 4m 6m then 11m then i stayed clean until today. but i did my hardest best work all through that time but they said i failed all that time i was learning to stay clean longer and longer. fuckers i always challenged their purist abstinence control freak labeling abuse. the guy they now say started york na came a year after meetings were started and is one of the self proclaimed MiRaCleS ! ghee can i touch your sleeve dude? maybe you can show me how to get god’s approval – if – i do what you say – and if – i stand next to you and put my head up your self righteous manipulative religious guru control freak hole. i rarely sponsored people, it seemed like manipulation, ….i was always “there” for people.

    whatever! for me it was never a miracle. i never worked so hard for a miracle. i worked hard and suffered and support was helpful, but i chose to get clean and ultimately did my own work. i didn’t blindly follow sponsor’s directions like some control freaks say is the na way – so they can control people and take credit for their recovery and give it to bill wilson’s psychedelic epiphany bull shit guru program.

    boy it’s still a lot of unresolved history to have feelings about and do something about – like warn people!

    it’s really not obessing like they accuse me of on thefix – which now taken over by positively passive aggressive pro aa’s – no more than talking in person to some one else who was through this horse sht years latter and has the same abuse memories. and sees abuse still happening and is morally compelled to same something about it – gheez! something is wrong with people who don’t speak up!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. yea the guy who they say started york na got clean in aa 8 years before he blew into na and claimed to do it “the NA way” and never protested aa’s prejudice against drug users like most ass kisser political social climbers. He’d insult people who went to therapy. He said “fuck your feelings work the steps” and “people who go to therapist are like people who go to hookers – becaue they pay for it”. meanwhile he was a director of a big rehab paid 70k a year in the 80s. that abusive asshole is worshipped by those poor fools. I hate that battle ship smile mutha fucha.

  6. that was one of the reason i stayed too long – i tried to save people from those psycopathic abusive hypocrite religious control freaks…infecting the medical industry and posing as medical help … but as you know it can’t be changed from the inside. they rip you to shreds if you don’t align with the program. its just suggested – like a parachute.

    oh well i think i’m done protesting in a positive way !!!!!!!!!!
    have a goood life

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *