This, the #metoo movement I predict is coming to AA/ NA – and 12 step based Rehab or Sober Living where men and women are sexually harassed or raped. SPEAK UP SPEAK OUT #metoo.
https://time.com/5784464/susan-fowler-book-uber-sexual-harassment/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Jennifer R
I had an artist friend who also claimed to have had 40 years of sobriety, although she was no longer attending meetings. I had gone to AA many years ago (in the 1980’s and early 90’s). I haven’t had a drink in over 30 years. I was weaning off antidepressants after a successful stint in trauma therapy to recover from childhood abuse.
As I was on the antidepressants for a long time, 17 years, I was having a lot of trouble with insomnia, anxiety, being tired, etc. when I weaned off of them. This artist friend took this as that I had a drug problem, and needed AA and/or rehab. (This lady is no longer my friend, as she turned out to be highly controlling, and saw me as only a project and someone to talk down to to make herself feel better).
I had quit going to AA and other 12 steps in the past, due to them being cult like and not allowing me to think for myself and be my own person.
However, when this lady took me back to AA, I was in a very vulnerable position, as I was feeling poorly from tapering off the psych meds (which my doctor approved of and was overseeing). I was love bombed at the meetings, and so I kept going. I cut off contact with this extremely controlling person, who was trying to tell me how to run my life in every way, but I kept going to AA. I ended up with a sponsor who was a big book thumper, and I did all the steps as she instructed me.
However, my eyes were opened when a guy tried to flirt with me very inappropriately throughout a meeting, and then he lost control of himself and started shouting at the chairperson and thumping his hand on the table. I became extremely uncomfortable, and felt naturally a healthy sense of fear, that I was in an unsafe place.
I talked to my sponsor about it, and told her I thought this was a normal healthy legitimate fear. She said it was partly, but that also it showed my character defect of selfishness, because I was not thinking about this poor guy, and how he was hurting, etc, etc. That was too much. I refuse to take the blame for some sicko who is acting highly inappropriately sexually in a meeting, and also acting abusively towards other people there. No one did or said a thing about it in the meeting, and acted like it was normal. So, this lunatic gets away with his crazy behavior, and I’m labeled as a selfish person because it caused me to feel unsafe? What utter bullcrap. I’m so done with this AA stuff. Women are not safe in these places. They are full of unstable and unhealthy predators who will take advantage of whomever they can. I’m staying far away.
When I told my sponsor I was no longer attending AA, and thanked her for her time and generosity, I got no response from her. It just goes to show how phony and artificial our so called friendship really was. I’m glad I’m away from there. I have no desire to drink, and my only issue is trying to gradually wean off antidepressants and dealing with some physical issues caused by that. It is just a matter of time and patience.
Hi
You know this story is so common place in real AA its a wonder Hollywood is still promoting it so heavily. I hope the truth comes out SOON! THanks for posting your story.
When I told my sponsor I was no longer attending AA, and thanked her for her time and generosity, I got no response from her. It just goes to show how phony and artificial our so called friendship really was.
Thats really sad. I had a sponsor who I am still friends with but she doesn’t buy into it all .
somethingelse
therapy groups with a wide spectrum of mental health status obviously need professional quality oversight that is trained to deescalate and separate people with unique problems who adversely effect each other. AA throws everyone together just asking for misunderstanding and aggravated problems.
some people find that a certain amount of therapeutic anger work can be helpful for example therapeutic battaca bat work and other people are triggered and re-traumatized by any type of physical energy being released. often they are at different stages of emotional recovery.
i knew a woman who made everyone walk on emotional egg shells because she believed it was abusive to do any anger therapy in meetings – she constantly fixed people if they were not positive and accepting etc. then when her boyfriend cheated and gave her a health issue, she busted out his windows and was fined for disturbing the peace and came into meetings laughing about her violent acting out. she did not admit any need to manage her own emotional releases. which of course was hypocritical abuse considering she shamed others who were trying to manage their feelings honestly by sharing when they felt upset rather than acting above it all and then exploding.
she never acknowledged that repressing upset feelings was a problem. people like that make groups unsafe in a whole different way which they often never admit for years. people like that aggravated more anger that i did not need and the frustration of dealing with such numb skulls is another reason i left for the sake of my own health before i started banging too many tables. i have banged a table on rare occasions. and neither the table or me was the problem.
Hi, the The #metoo movement will come to AA and NA this year.
2020 #TIMESUP is very good, congratulations to leavingaa.com’ authors.
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Love yourself and be happy! 🙂 Kisses!
HI Kristi- I do hope you are right- BLM and antifia and this election are clearly stealing the spotlight for now. Things have been very hard for so many this 2020 , nightmare year of Chinese Covid Virus. No end in site – with constant fear mongering and lockdowns.
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