Abstinence vs Moderation
After 36 years in AA, I left. A very long time to not drink a drop, for sure. I have been gone now from the AA culture and its dogma for seven years feeling free and
happy! In the process I have thought about why I stopped. I do not believe that I ever was or am an alcoholic.
One day I had to go to Bev Mo to buy alcohol for a large party I was having. So down the aisle I went with my eldest son. Needless to say, I bought nothing for me, but it was fun to look. My son and I began to talk about my not drinking for so long and no longer being in AA.
It began a serious question about Moderation vs Abstinence. I had already interviewed Ken Anderson from Hams Harm Reduction and Donna Cornett from drink link moderation regarding a topic I had never even explored on my blog talk radio show Safe Recovery. Recently a blogger began to journal his experimentation with moderation successfully.
“anon” a fellow blogger, began documenting his journey with moderation after 15 years of abstinence in AA. I am going to post some of it here.
Blog away with respect for each other.
Please…No trolling and no AA rhetoric. This is a site to help those who have left or want support in leaving and are experimenting with the idea or the reality of Moderation.
#1 anon wrote: I have 30 days of drinking successfully after attending AA for 15 years.
Keep not coming back.
#2 “I drank last night and really enjoyed it. I waited for my wife to get home from work and we drank together. I could feel the effects but was not grossly impaired. I woke up with no hangover and have had a productive day. I helped a friend with his work on the side in addition to completing my own tasks. I will not drink tonight or probably for the next few days.
Massive, I really liked what you said about AA speak; when I use it today it is in a joking manner.
I think it would be healthy to eliminate it completely.
I still talk to old friends from AA, it is better for all concerned that they don’t know I drink.”
update: I now have been gone from AA for eight years and have been moderating easily since the summer of 2012. I have read many books that can teach a person how to either stay ABS – abstinent or to moderate. I have chosen to imbibe- turns out I am a natural moderate. This is not the case for all people- But there are many of us who went to AA very young , stopped easily for decades, who now know we were never a “real AA style alcoholic”.
I can see now that I was a problematic teen drinker. Self medicating. Nothing more- nothing less. I was dealing with childhood trauma as well as a victim of an assault when I was 15.
I highly recommend you seek professional help and deprogram first before you decide to imbibe. Have a plan. Read a few books on non 12 step approaches. I will provide a list of books to read. One of my favorites is The Sober Truth by Lance Dodes. Why Women Drink by Gabrielle Glaser, You’ve Been Lied to by Hank Hayes, The SMART Recovery Handbook, The Freedom Model, Dr Carl Harts videos and writings, Moderation Management websites, Beyond Addiction by Jeff Foote– Carrie Wilkens and Nicole Kosanke with Stephen Higg, Babylon Confidential by Claudia Christian, The Cure for Alcoholism By Roy Eskapa, Take Control Now By Dr Marc Kern, Responsible Drinking By Frederick Rotgers, Recover! By Ilse Thompson and Stanton Peele, Moderate Drinking Made Easy Workbook By Donna Cornett.
