What is Deprogramming from Alcoholics Anonymous and do you want help?

Some people find that even after leaving AA- 20 years ago – 6 months ago – 2 years ago – those “readings are still lingering in your head as your head hits the pillow.

What is that all about anyway? Were we really brainwashed ? Many say – “No” that cant be… AA is not a cult. ” Many of us say yes, yes – it is a cult and here is why.

I too wondered why was it that people get sucked in so quickly – I think it is a many pronged factor.

  •  People are very lonely when they arrive ( their family and friends are all angry at them _ hence the LOVE BOMBING.
  • The readings at every meeting and the tone in which they are read are straight up brainwashing technique ( this is the use of all We’s and US not Me and I ) I will post a Through the worm hole episode to make my point.
  •  A person may be in an extremely vulnerable state. Like never before or never again will this the case perhaps.

The things people say in meetings, like : Only WE CAN HELP YOU

You will die or go insane or go to jail if you leave here.

You must come here forever, Only WE Understand you …. we are special —

Loaded language is used in AA and in all cults.  I will continue this thread adding in how I deprogrammed and how you to can be free not only from the meetings – buts its ideology.

Join us on FACEBOOK- Deprogramming from AA or any 12 step group.

There are professionals that can help too. Rachel Bernstein in a great resource-

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19 thoughts on “What is Deprogramming from Alcoholics Anonymous and do you want help?

  1. AA saved my life, literally. I don’t know where you attend meetings, but where I go, it is nothing like you have described on your blog. I have not heard of any sexual harassment or rape. Yeah, there are some people that I’m not crazy about, but I don’t have to listen to them, and I don’t have to associate with them. I can choose my sponsor and if I don’t like her and it’s not working, I can fire her.

    AA has transformed my life. And I have never felt like it is a cult. AA has never forced me to spend money or do anything against my will. If I want to participate, I can. I have heard things are different on the WC with these Clancy Pacific groups — but here in Texas, it’s pretty laid back. We offer the solution and its up to you to do the work or not.

    • Renee- your post is interesting and very self centered and self absorbed – so I hope you are working on yourself – LOL – maybe notice that if there are 800,000 members in the USA you might be living in a bubble.

      Predators abound in AA in large cities and especially in small towns like in Washington State, Tennessee, Kentucky, North Carolina and Arkansas to name a few.

      You and your little meeting are not a representation of AA.

      A good example is that I was raised a Catholic in NYC – no one was sexually abused in my parish in Upper Manhattan.

      When the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal came out – I never once said — OH THAT NEVER HAPPENS ” did you ?

      But those boys and girls and young novices were raped , molested and tortured.
      Rape is rampant in AA clubs …ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!

      One more thing . In my final years in AA i went to a nice meting in culver city – all 40 women – no sexual harassment – well one old lady was inappropriate. But — We didnt know about this all ( except what happened to me at age 18 and 19 in Hawaii I was 13 stepped )

      Till Kali arrived in our meeting. Then I went to some mixed meetings – the story is on my front page. I created the first MAKE AA SAFER WORKSHOP where rape and many other damaging things were brought to the light.

      I invite you to watch my film on VIMEO for 1.99 less then a STARBUCKS –

      And why did you come to a LEAVING AA Blog anyway ?

      Didn’t you save your life. Didn’t you choose not to drink every day?

      AA is a brainwashing ideology. ALL THE WE;s and US’s .

      The group is more important then the individual – ( you read this at every meeting) . and why to you need to go there forever. That’s a marker for cult behavior.

      Why not listen – to my podcast – SAFE RECOVERY on Blog talk radio.

      Its my job to expose AA for the bullshit that is occurring all over the world. The UK is filled with 13 stepping and rape. ALL over Europe.

      OPEN your eyes.

      one question – how old are you and how long are you AA style sober ?

      • AA has not grown since 93
        AA even negates the effect of natural remission
        AA only harms the public over all.

        see orange-papers info
        the mathematics of AA [hyper link]

        AA only “works” for the rare few who don’t know healthy psychology when they see it. They fit right in – AA is their dysfunctional home. AA is full of psychological abuse. whenever you are disturbed you will find you were invariably at fault – the local rehab manager recited that to me when his psychopath lying criminal clients attacked me a dozen times over a year. [he flooded our town with court appointed relocated big city criminals – while he profited 6 figures/yr ] any problems were your fault for letting them rent space in your head and control you and because you did not turn it over to god – WTF!?

    • Pretty laid back? I know a number of people that attended and tried to attend AA in Texas. A couple were extremely stubborn and managed to not to get run out of the meetings simply because they weren’t Christian. Several faced threats of violence if they didn’t adopt God.

      As far as not seeing the dangerous atmosphere AA creates for women, you are wilfully ignorant. It’s been in every meeting I have ever attended.

    • Renee,
      Unlike some of the others here, I’m not going to discount your belief that AA saved your life. Maybe it did, and I am not you, so I certainly cannot say that it didn’t.

      But at the same time, please don’t discount our experiences. I was exposed to intense spiritual abuse and constant sexual predation in the AA groups I attended (these were in multiple place in four different states). If you haven’t experienced it personally, consider yourself lucky.

      Heck, I will NEVER forget the time I went to a young person’s meeting and the actual topic for the evening was the 13th step and whether there was anything wrong with it. At least half of the “old timers” were actually arguing that there was nothing wrong with taking advantage of the newcomers sexually or for relationships. I thought I had stepped onto a different planet, it was so shocking and bizarre.

      But the most egregious abuse of AA isn’t the overt sexual abuse or financial predation (which is also very common). It’s the spiritual abuse. And this is the worst of it because it is so sneaky, subversive, and hidden — until you finally break free and see what had happened to you.

      It starts with you being told that your “different” religious beliefs are no big deal. You can choose your own god, even if it’s a doorknob, doncha know! But as you keep coming back, you find that you are subjected to increasing pressure to conform to the “real” god that the old-time steppers think you SHOULD believe in, which is basically the monotheist judeochristian god. They will find way to read the parts of the Big Book that directly talk about this particular god. They will make you feel out of place if you don’t participate in the prayers. They will make sure to subtly lecture you during their own sharing time, talking more and more incessantly about their “relationship” to god and how they believe it’s the only true way to recovery.

      Over time, you will realize that you have been subjected to one of the most insidious forms of psychological abuse, particularly because they try to pretend that this ISN’T what they’re doing. (Oh, it’s not about “god,” it’s about “spirituality.”) The double-speak and duplicity is toxic.

      There are many other contradictions in the program (for example, claiming that alcoholism is a disease and then in the next breath saying that the treatment is to pray for god to remove your “shortcomings”… not your “disease,” your shortcomings). The black and white thinking that often leads people to binge upon relapse, the insipid hierarchies that form in each group, and the way that sponsors often slowly acquire undue control over their sponsees’ lives… these are all unhealthy. And eventually, you will realize that the meetings are making you feel worse rather than better.

      All the best.

    • “We offer the solution and its up to you to do the work or not.”

      You most definately do NOT offer “the solution”.

      The solution that I found was via actual professional therapy and Medication Assisted Treatment. And it took me a month locked in some nonsense rehab getting ZERO practical advice – only listening to over and over and over all day “Go to meetings” “Just pray – you can pray to a potato if you like!” etc. FInally, when I was about to leave – I learned of medication. WHY did it take to THAT point for me to even HEAR of this??? Because the 12-step community tries to prevent people that are “helping” from knowing the potentially life saving options that are out there.

      I’ve buried 3 friends who were led to believe that AA was the only option. And it wasn’t about theyu didn’t “work it hard enough” it’s because the BS “program” itself does not work for 90 – 96% of the folks shuffled into it.

      • Yes – Walter Klausmeyer – 100-96% fail – but AA members don’t see any problems “at their meeting”. They just blame all the victims… yet 36 methods work better for the same demographic. Naltrexone works up to 75% the first time.


        the handbook of alcoholism treatment approaches
        by ,miller and hester

        the irrationality of alcoholics anonymous
        by gabrille glaser

        aa own data proves aa has not grown since 1993
        thus AA negates natural remission
        thus AA only harms the public overall

        AA’s own mebership data since 1993
        the mathematics of AA [hyperlink]
        oraange-papers . info

    • Renee- I know a woman who knew a woman who was ripped off in the millions by her SPONSOR – she let her get away with that crime – because she so called ” helped her get sober ” – that’s when she walked away with 25 years sober- She helped me leave in 2011.

  2. I was sexually assaulted by a 13 stepper in AA. Sexual abuse runs rampant in that cult. Break free and find a good life in the real world.

  3. Brainwashed apolgists like yourself are the reason that I moved on from AA after 4 years of fear-based mumbo jumbo . You’re not telling the truth. Period.

  4. Sheesh, you A.A. haters are like a pack of rabid wolves waiting to pounce… I am glad this is not my “home group.” LMAO…. Okay, I’m ready….

      • AA is just suggested until you disagree – then you are a hater.

        AA members are not suppose to be arguing with people who don’t like aa in the first place – by aa traditions.

        not here or anywhere online – but aa soldiers are everywhere – like a smiling plague of serene fraud

  5. A straw man is a common form of argument and is an informal fallacy based on giving the impression of refuting an opponent’s argument, while actually refuting an argument that was not presented by that opponent. One who engages in this fallacy is said to be “attacking a straw man.”

  6. Oh my Yes !!! /s ….

    AA is just suggested until you disagree …Then you are “attacking AA” and “hating and pouncing on AA”

    But …THAT IS bald faced AA’ ABUSE and denying AA abuse on display right there !!!… AA soldiers are just too brainwashed to realize they are even doing it.

    And then even when its right in their face right here – they deny they ever saw AA abuse, as if what what they just did is invisible like an elephant in the living room.

    AA members are not even suppose to be here or TheFix arguing against people who do not like AA in the first place according to AA traditions.

    I always lose when I argue with brain washed AA ass holes. The brain washed are the last to know they are brainwashed. They can actually wear you down mentally with their battle ship smile lies – and blame you for being angry at their abuse as if their being happy about their AA lies and abuse is not insane “terribly-nice” behavior.

    • I don’t deny any 13th Step claims that women make. I did see sleazy men messing with weak women and vice versa. There are 3 men for every 1 women in AA. which aggravates the problem.

      I experienced something different.

      We had a rehab in our town that told all their clients that they should not have sex in the first year, this became a rule with all the women and thus extremism ensued as it will in unstable unsupervised groups – and thus anyone who dated someone with less than a year was accused of being a 13th stepper and at the time i left that had escalated to labeling people as sexual perpetrators.

      AA can turn into extremists abuse in many different ways.

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